Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Just for completeness sake, the usual way of accessing a server is over SSH, using the console. That would be openssh-server on the pi and openssh-client on the laptop.
Also, I don't know if it's available on ARM, but Sunshine and Moonlight run so much faster than VNC. It's meant for gaming but works perfectly fine for remote desktop access. Sunshine is the server and Moonlight is the client.
I just need top connect remotely to desktop from time to time (lazy to go to the next room). What about Remmina - never used it?
remminia is a client (I believe for rdp and vnc), but to host you'd need some type of server.
The best and fanciest today is sunshine but it requires some kind of gpu for encoding - so probably out of the question for an RPI
The next are all pretty similar, (I myself have most experience with vnc so I can attest to it): xrdp/rdp, vnc, and nx
Half of them try and create their own virtual desktop to stream, but so you probably want to stream a real desktop - x11vnc does a great job at this (and if anything has too many options)
SSH is the correct way. After 15 years of using linux, ive never heard of remmina