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Advice on helping a loved one through alcoholism? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by Flickerby@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My fiance has been struggling a lot lately with this and it's taking a toll on me. I'm doing all I can and all I know how to do but it's getting really hard and exhausting to deal with the constant cycle of abuse and then apology and then abuse and then apology over and over and over again for months. Usually day by day. I have convinced her to go to a counselor for help and she has an appointment set and seemed willing but she has kept up the cycle of drinking and I'm afraid she'll just ignore it or pretend to go. If anyone has experience helping a loved one through overcome this I would appreciate the help. She is an absolutely wonderful person when she is sober and I love her with all my heart but I'm not sure what else I can do and I don't want the rest of my life to consist of this.

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[–] Hexbear2@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

I have experience with alcoholics in the family and haven't drank more than a handful of drinks in the last 5 years, because I don't want to go down that road, but the things you need to ask yourself are: Are you prepared to have her never changed and eventually drink herself to death? Are you prepared for her behavior to get even worse over the years towards you and herself? Are you prepared for the drinking associated health complications, she won't be able to function as an adult for her last 5-10 years. Are you prepared to deal with potential DUIs, job losses, and other alcohol related complications? Are you prepared to give up your life to deal with her situation?

If the answer is no, you need to think about your future with her. You can't help her through this one.