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How do you deal with in-laws visiting? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by minorsecond@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My in-laws are visiting for a week at the end of next month and they like to visit until late in the evening. However, I typically go to bed at 7 PM because I have to get up at 4 AM to train for my sport before work. I'll have just finished a competition and will be beginning training for another one when they're here.

What's the best way to set boundaries with them without coming across as an asshole? My wife will probably want to stay out later while they're here, so I'll have to figure out a way to compromise.

To make it more interesting, what are some things your in-laws do that annoy you when they visit?

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[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would tell my significant other: hey, I love your parents I'm so excited to see them. We're going to need to take separate cars though because I have training in the morning but I don't want to tear you away from your family just because of me. Let's plan the activities early enough so I can join but you guys can still go have fun and go out after I go to bed.

Then leave it open for discussion. Maybe she only wants to take one car and her parents will bring her back, maybe one of the several nights there's something later she really wants you to be apart of so maybe you can be tired for just one day. But don't leave it as an "I'm gonna do this thing" leave it as a discussion.

[–] xffxe4@lemmy.one 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, I agree with this. He needs to have a discussion with his wife about it and agree to a compromise whether that is he has to adjust his schedule for a day or tough it out with a little less sleep. The asshole move here would be to be unwilling to adjust at all to accommodate his wife and guests.

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 year ago

The second ass hole move is going with everything she wants then being resentful. Talking it out is the only correct move.