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this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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My needs have never been met. Never. Yet I have managed to not be a dick for decades.
I assure you that to someone else, you've been a dick without you knowing.
We judge ourselves by our intentions and the others by their actions. So it's easy to point at everyone around being a dick without realising that in that moment, that person isn't necessarily thinking that they are a dick.
And again, some people are really shitty people regardless of the situation. So it doesn't apply to them.
I'm not taking about accidental or unconscious dickery. I'm talking about deliberately being an ass because you feel you have a right to it.
Do you think that the context matters then? Covid or not, these people are gonna be ass.
If you think that people were fundamentally bad and hiding behind a facade until covid, then I am not sure what there is to discuss.
I am not sure what you are trying to convey here.
Yes. I think people were fundamentally selfish and self-centered, and the minute they felt inconvenienced, they took it as an excuse to be assholes.
Before Covid, they didn't feel the same pressure, so used kindness as social grease to benefit themselves. Covid proved that the average person's kindness is less a character trait than a cost/benefit analysis.
I agree with Analogy's take on this. I don't think it's based on 'needs'. Selfish people are, and have always been selfish regardless of the situation. Stress does exacerbate it of course. And it's unfortunately the case that we live in a world that doesn't reward kindness. But despite this there are a lot of people that are kind because they want to be, because it's rewarding for it's own sake.
I’m absolutely on Analogy’s side, as well.
I think where we disagree is that people were merely inconvenienced. Social relationships are a basic human need and there is a lot of ongoing research on the effects of social isolation caused by Covid.
And with that said, I don't think I can change your mind on the covid situation.
I hope that you can find people that can and will meet your needs.