this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2023
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House: "Bzzzzt, sorry, we cannot grant you access to your home since you have posted an offensive comment made to the bank that provided you the mortgage loan. We also have turned away a delivery package that reads: Bzzzzt..."
House: "Asthma Inhaler."
House: Beeps.
House: "Please confirm $1,000,000 penalty payment to the mortgage company to regain access to your house. Have a good day."
You: "But my wallet and everything is in this house..."
House: "911 have been dialed, you are trespassing this property. Please vacant the premise."