this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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Let's say there's someone I want to call Mr/Ms/Mrs [Name], but I don't know their gender, is there a title I can use that doesn't assume their gender?

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[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

And omg, if you need to go with a feminine honorific and you don’t know whether the person is married, go with Ms, not Mrs. or Miss.

I understand what you mean here, except on the difference between Ms and Miss, do you mean this more in terms of writing than speaking? I ask only because I don't know that I've ever been able to hear a particular difference between Ms and Miss when spoken, but that may be more related to my hearing or something that I've not realized.

Edit:
Reading a little further, I see that it comes across as sorta creepy? I'd always parsed it as a more informal address compared to the more formal ma'am for femme folks, so this is interesting, to say the least! I suppose it reads sorta like someone calling an adult man, "young man" or "boy" despite their age, since I don't think there's something similar to miss for masculine folks.

That would come across creepy, unless from older folks and heavily dependent on context.

[–] poppy@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I understand what you mean here, except on the difference between Ms and Miss, do you mean this more in terms of writing than speaking? I ask only because I don't know that I've ever been able to hear a particular difference between Ms and Miss when spoken, but that may be more related to my hearing or something that I've not realized.

“Ms.” Is pronounced “mizzz” kinda like you’re a bee, “Miss” is pronounced “missss” like a snake.

[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've honestly heard Ms. pronounced both ways (and both have been accepted in my experience), so that probably explains the confusion 😅 Thanks though!

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago

I grew up with Mrs and Ms pronounced nearly the same, so I get the pronunciation confusion.

[–] clockwork_octopus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Also, calling a woman either Mrs or Miss defines her by her marital status. Since we are more than that, Ms is more appropriate (assuming that an honorific must be used at all).