this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2023
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Are they averse to conversation? They might not like to talk. But you might find that if you are feeling a person doesn't want to communicate, it might be because you are not communicating well either. You need to use your own skills and take initiative.
I can point you to several skills.
https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php
https://www.practicalrecovery.com/prblog/family-communication-be-pius-this-holiday-season/
Be very gentle using any interpersonal skills. Only ever speak from "I statements". If it doesn't work, it wasn't meant to work.
But I’m very sociable amd not shy with conversation!
These links are excellent! Thank you!
I am the “averse” one- meaning, I have a hard time setting firm boundaries, struggle with gathering the courage to say no, etc. The person in question I’m having to push back against is kind of passive aggressive/manipulative, but seems very confrontational.
So why are you talking to them? Part of being a good conversationalist is knowing when to drop it.
I think (I am a shit head on the internet) that this might be telling you something. To reaffirm those boundaries you already know about.
Talk to them or don't, but remember what is important to you personally.
Well, to answer your question, I have to talk to them. Very small team, this lady seems to think she’s in charge of the whole team instead of her two direct reports. Heres more context from upthread: https://beehaw.org/comment/973873
But you are right about reaffirming of boundaries. I think I get scared when pushing back because I’m not always great at regulating my emotions so I’m terrified I’ll get worked up and say the wrong thing, but I really need to work on this skill. It’s important, I do not want to be someone easily steamrolled.