Okay. Guys, I think on the verge of figuring something out. It's not complete, but close. The thing is, I don't know what I'm figuring out, so it's a bit confusing, but I've been obsessed with this topic for like a year now. Here we go:

∞ x c possibilities

• Change can happen in infinity directions at maximum speed of the speed of light (c). I can move my arm in any direction in 3D space up to the speed of light. Apply this to everything, and that is the amount of possibilities that can occur.

2 options for reality

• Similar to Yoda's wise words, something happens or it doesn't. There are only 2 options for reality. Did my arm move up or did it not. That's it. It either happened or it didn't happen. Whether you thought about it, there were other options, etc., that doesn't matter. Something happens or it doesn't happen. There is no in-between or third option. There is no half-moved or double-moved. There is no other move. Yes or no. Nothing else. A switch is either on or off. It can't be kinda on, kinda off, or kinda another option.

1 reality

• Only one reality exists. There is only one story line. Once something happens, it happened. It cannot be changed. The thing happened or it didn't happen, but both didn't happen at the same time.

So the model In reverse is that there is only one reality that occurs. There is only one physical reality that is occurring. The options that reality cares about are if something happened or didn't. What can or cannot happen is a combination of ∞ directions with the limit of the speed of light.

Limitations: The limits of possibilities is probably wrong. I know that length and time have a smallest: plank. The shortest distance that makes sense is plank length, while the shortest time that makes sense is plank time. Both of these may set limits on possibilities. If there is a shortest length, is there a shortest angle (direction)? This is something I don't know. But if there is a shortest angle, then that sets a lower limit to direction. Moreover, since there is a shortest distance and time, that means there is a shortest speed because speed is distance over time. The creates a lower limit to the speed part of possibilities.

Okay, what do you think. Please critique the logic. I am obsessed with this and have to figure it out so I can move on. Also, what am I trying to figure out?? Is this really about time? For the future is endless but with a limit, the present is either something is happening or not, and the past is set forever. What am I trying to figure out‽

inb4: quantum mechanics, Schrodinger's cat, double-slit experiment, & wave-particle duality

I like to repeat words or phrases I hear that stick out in the way they're said. Some of my top hits:

• Soup or salad?
• Hello! (in an automated call voice)
• MoviePhone brought to you by Y-100 and the New Timesss
• I took a piss on a development deal from Sony...and Def Jam (Immortal Tech lyric)
• Definitely Kmart...definitely (Eminem)
• Welcome! You've got mail! (AOL)
• Is that sohce (sauce)? Is that extrahh (extra)? (funny TikTok skit)

Anyway, I was going down my list of words ereyesterday. When I was done, a friend that was over yelled, "Frank and beans!" from across the house, and now I think I'm seriously intellectually disabled (aka ret----d) and everyone is just being nice to me. I mean, I've achieved a high level of education and professional impact, but maybe it was with a lot of support, leniency, and accommodations. Kind of like people would be like, "Good job, big guy! You're doing great!" to my face, but when I leave, "You see? If you give them proper support, they can flourish."

Anyone else been through something similar?

Edit: Okay, I'm over it. The post was made mostly in jest, though I did have some slight doubt at first...and some lingering doubt still. Honestly, I know it doesn't really matter. To me, I'm me and confidently happy with that. I'm more concerned for how perceive me so I have an idea on why people interact the way they do with me.

I need to get this out of my system.

Marx was right. "The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles." But he didnt incorporate the interaction between individuals and society. Selfish individuals will dedicate their efforts into finding a way to play the system to their advantage at the expense of everyone else. It is as certain as death. Feudalism, capitalism, slavery, fascism, communism with a vanguard party, etc is all the same with different names. There are the people that exploit and the exploited.

Actual revolution is not political. It is universally cultural and has no boundaries or nationality. Until we as a species integrate the moral value that hoarding wealth and power is unjust like murder, we will continue to cycle through social political systems and charismatic pseudo-revolutionary leaders, repeating the same process with different names. True revolution has no leader because true revolution is incompatible with leaders. Once we establish that as an absolute must, then no matter the rationalization given by anyone (private property to control obscene amounts of wealth and means of production, freedom of speech to promote hate, free market to allow corruption, etc.), no one would tolerate it.

At the individual level, we need to understand that the well-documented psychopathic-narcissistic pattern of abuse is the issue. Notice it and take steps to prevent that from taking control. No divide and conquer. No blaming or scapegoating. No populist love-bombing and future faking. No victimizing. No shame. No revenge. No flying monkeys doing the bidding of the unwell abuser. No idealization of anyone. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect. There aren't winners and losers. There is no hierarchy. These are all made up to exploit, be it an abused partner or social class. Only equality, reciprocity, mutuality, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, freedom, and independence of thought. In one word love.

Man, I'm on some BS today.

Disclaimer: This is solely my opinion. It's been bouncing around in my head for a while and needed to come out. I really hope this doesn't turn into a [poop]storm. Please be kind with me and each other.

I'm sure this is due at least in part to some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, as I can identify with and relate to others like me and vice versa, while neuotypicals tend to not tolerate my idiosyncrasies etc. Either way, it sucks being all "I had a social obligation early in the day and it was exhausting but it's done, I had some time to recharge and I don't feel like isolating for once" but all I get back is crickets. I don't blame anyone in the least - everyone's got their own shit they're dealing with. It's just disheartening.

I was really worried that they would tell me I wasn't autistic. I stressed out about it for over a month straight. Like, I would complete online autism scales to confirm "that I was still autistic". Once at the assessment, I remember thinking that there was a moment when the psychologist had already made a clinical decision as if the conclusion was that evident early on in the process.

Fast forward to today, and yeah...there is no way I would have passed as not autistic. I wouldn't be able to pass as not autistic if I was trained by a team of psychologists on how to look not autistic at that assessment. It's so obvious lol. I seriously thought that I would inadvertently mask the entire way my brain works to a specialist using a thoroughly vetted exam. How funny! All that stress was for nothing.