A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
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Encouraged:
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lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
“Parents take you to a psychologist”
Can’t relate to that bit, my mother refused to even take me to the opticians because she insisted there was nothing wrong with me.
These days she thinks I’m making the ADHD stuff up, and occasionally asks me why I don’t just take off my glasses for a while…
Sorry dude that sounds rough.
I was thankfully provided transport, but I was also subjected to a long lecture on why I “don’t want to be on medication”.
I can relate to that, they’re suddenly experts on a condition that they don’t understand and the medication to treat it.
Is your mom my mom? Are we siblings?!
squints eyes reads username
Odds are in favour
But why would my parents take me to a doctor when my mom does all the same stuff?
"It's normal." ...uh, no. Mom had undisagnosed ADHD.
Can I ask how well you now look after yourself as an adult? Cause I grew up similarly and have huge issues caring for myself, it's like I can't identify what is good for me
It’s quite difficult, I was told a lot that I just need to get on with stuff and the response was “it’s not a problem” to any issues.
I once had a bad infection on my leg and just ignored it until people at work said I needed to speak to someone. Eventually I ended up at the hospital, the doctor was quite surprised at how bad I’d let it get, and was even more shocked when I said I was going back to work after 😂
She basically said that there’s no way I should be going back to work, and said I needed to take a few days off and take antibiotics. My mum said it wasn’t that bad…
I also registered with a dentist for the first time in 10 years recently, and had a load of fillings done. My mum kept telling me I didn’t need them unless my teeth hurt (they did, but she ignored me saying that), and that the dentist was just trying to rip me off, despite them showing me pictures of the decay on some teeth.
All I can really say is that it’s best to book appointments for any issues, and then gauge whether it’s something that you should have just been putting up with based on the doctor/professional’s advice. Then eventually you’ll get some kind of rational basis for what needs to be sorted and what you should be putting up with.
Idk what you're all complaining about. Just focus harder. /s
Dad?
You’re just not trying hard enough
I’m in this post and I don’t like it, 😆
Everythinga checks out except the last about the parents. My mom said she was sorry and told me that schools and parents were not taught about those things and she didn't knew better. She was really sad. Poor mom did her best
This brings back memories I'd rather repress.
Diagnosed at 47. It's been a helluva ride. I've been addicted to more substances than you can shake a stick at. Car crashes. Destroyed relationships. Academic disasters. Depression. Criminal justice. Happy now though, trying not to look back but it wasn't all bad. Every day I do a bit of work on rebuilding my self esteem.
Just started meds at 29. I can’t actually get my work done, I can see how little I could accomplish before. It’s crazy.
Similar story, started at 24, bout a year ago. Only just managed to find the best dose.
Oh how small the world seemed before.
Can I ask what you are on ? I have some adderall but it scares me I’ve only used it once .
Like OP said, I am on Vyvanse as well and I found it to be much better than adderall. I feel a little more like myself.
I did not need to be attacked like this today
I got diagnosed at 35, and when I got out on Adderall, I got mad. I say there, no bees buzzing in my brain, focusing on one thing, thinking to myself, "THIS IS HOW NEUROTYPICAL PEOPLE FEEL ALL THE TIME?!"
This was me except major depressive disorder + dysthymia + generalized anxiety
Just got my six year old diagnosed and we are learning how to help her develop strategies to deal with it. For now, we're keeping meds on the back burner, but anyone have more recent experience with meds as a child? My husband wasn't diagnosed until he was an adult and we don't want to immediately start with meds or use his coping method of Adderall and copious amounts of caffeine.
Out of curiosity is there a particular reason you're avoiding meds for them other than the stigma associated with stimulants? It's a first-line treatment for ADHD not a last resort.
Mostly because she's six. It's not so much about the stigma, but that my husband and I both feel that medication simply covers up the issue rather than learning ways to work with how her brain works. We will absolutely get her meds if need be, but right now things like movement breaks at dinner seem to be really helping.
Without intending to be pinickity, I would just like to say that, long-term studies of stimulant medication show growth in the areas of the brain ADHDers are typically underdeveloped.
Making no comment on you decision, I just wanted to challenge that it merely covers up the issue. It may very well be that understanding herself and ADHD-educated parents are the only necessary tools (I wouldn’t know - sounds like she’s lucked out). But the medication does actually address (to some extent) aspects of the underlying problem enough to be neurologically measurable.
Oh yes, it does address the underlying problem. Absolutely. We aren't thinking of meds as a last resort, but simply after we all have some tools in our belt to help manage the symptoms. The underdevelopment is interesting. I'll look into that, but it likely won't affect our decision regarding medication.
Thank you for your comments and replies. They are very well thought out.
Don't know how well this helps with a young child but I have been learning a lot from this YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG
I'm sorry. That sounds horrible. I have ADHD but I didn't have trouble like that. I'm sorry that happened to you.
This made me tear up. Working with my son through his adhd issues made me angry and sad I went through the same without any support.
I’ve known I was adhd since I was like 10, but I was only medicated for a couple years (Ritalin I think, hated it) is getting medicated as an adult really that much of a game changer? I fantasize about getting an adderall prescription and having all of my problems be solved by a pill, I know that really won’t be the case
I’d think of it a bit like this. Doing all your taxes and small print forms is definitely possible without glasses, but it’s blurry, headache-y, and takes a long time. For me medication has been a bit like putting glasses on. Yeah doing taxes still sucks but it’s a bit of a relief from extra ADHD challenges.
As an Adult, theres a lot of tasks that it helps with. It certainly won’t match your fantasy but it definitely is a game changer.
Do you find that being medicated comes with its own challenges, or has your experience been entirely positive?
I’m not who you replied to but I was on Ritalin from 5-13 or so, then off all meds until about 34.
I sought it out because things were becoming more of a struggle than they used to be (for context, I graduated hs, served in the military, and graduated cum laude with a BS all unmedicated). I just couldn’t get the same motivation from my prior strategies.
I am on basically the same drug now (methylphenidate), but a lower dose than when I was a kid (the extreme high dose is why I stopped taking it-so many side effects). At this point I really only take it when I want to be productive, mostly because I cannot remember to take it daily to save my life.
It does have its own set of challenges, like there are still side effects, and remembering to even take it early enough is a pain (if you delay, your sleep is likely to be impacted), and a lot of doctors don’t want you testing positive for thc, even if you use the drugs on different days, which reduces your options for overcoming the stimulant effect at night.
But it does help me get going when I take it, and imho it is worth it if it works for you too. You might need to try a few different meds to find the right one for your adult chemistry, but if Ritalin was effective for you back when, methylphenidate might be an option now.
And if you decide the meds aren’t worth it, they don’t give you the effect you were looking for or the side effects are too much, you don’t have to keep taking them. The joy of being an adult is nobody forcing it on you.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I’ve been putting off making an appointment to work on getting a prescription, this thread has given me the kick I needed to finally make the call.
It’s own challenges for sure. Certainly until you find the right dose.
I can get overstimulated easier and pressured situations that I used to thrive in can become overstimulating instead now. But there may be some crossover with a family history of ASD. Difficult to know what’s medication and what’s medication + me, ya know.
It took a huge amount of time and self reflection to realize that I'm not lazy and I'm actually trying my best. It's sad to think how misunderstood I was for so, so many years.
I’m just now getting diagnosed, and I’m not super young. It has been starting to hit me, how much of my childhood is explained by this. This starter pack just drove in the point. It’s not all accurate, but the stuff that is accurate hits deep.
It's at times like this that I am reminded how lucky I am to have had such great parents. I mean I made it to 41 before even beginning to suspect I had adhd, but in the 80s if you didn't literally run around screaming all the time it couldn't be adhd! But my parents always treated me as a person and didn't do any of that shit - for that I am grateful!
Yes.
Although I was also of an age when I was diagnosed (40), where it not only threw my whole life up to that point into a different light….it also threw my parent’s lives up to that point into a different light. Because part of why I was sure I was ‘normal’ for 40 years was because my whole family did the exact same things….🤦🤷♂️
All true.
Ouch. I should just show this to my psych.
Do you think psychs get shown a lot of memes nowadays? Never thought about it until now
Wow it's fuckin scary how accurate this is.
edit: lmao i forgot i had already seen this
Basically me without the parents taking me to a psychiatrist. My parents didn't believe in that either.
As an adult my sister and I both got diagnosed with ADHD, and all my siblings and I got diagnosed with PTSD.
I got diagnosed with ADHD-PI at 23, after going no-contact with my abusive parents and finally getting therapy. Growing up, I always knew there was something different about how my brain processed things, but would have never known it was ADHD because I didn’t have any hyperactive symptoms. I was constantly being told that I was lazy, didn’t care, and immature, and being threatened and physically abused didn’t help either. I’m so glad I finally got diagnosed, found meds and organization systems that work for me, and know that neurodivergence is a normal thing!
My mom was the one that didn’t think adhd existed at all. Even with psychs and teachers telling her that I have it severely.
She was recently diagnosed off the cuff by her psych and when she told me I was like “so does it exist now? Do you believe in it now?” And her only response was “god cameranotfound, that was so long ago. Can’t you get diagnosed too?”
I fucking have, but getting an actual psych to do an eval to be able to get me medication is damn near impossible. Thanks mom.