this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2025
521 points (95.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

21658 readers
1665 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I regret nothing. Say what you want.

Edit: I just saw the two typos. If you find them, you're welcome to keep them.

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Korkki@lemmy.ml 20 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I code using grep's search and replace.

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I code using a telegraph machine in morse code.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 6 points 22 hours ago

I code using punch cards hand cutting each hole with a xacto knife

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 11 points 21 hours ago

At uni I did a lot of my Java coursework in notepad, then I’d have to take it into a computer lab on a floppy, tar it and upload it to a unix terminal so it could be emailed to the professor. Java syntax with only the command line compiler is not fun.

[–] sockpuppetsociety@lemm.ee 12 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

As long as you don't use Microsoft Word we can be friends

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

What about the libre office version?

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Bonus points if you're saving it as an .odt and still producing a validly executable file of some kind

[–] sockpuppetsociety@lemm.ee 7 points 21 hours ago

You're weird, but we can be friends if you want.

[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 6 points 20 hours ago

That boy is gonna be a murderer

[–] TinyRhino@lemm.ee 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If you're not writing it all down on paper and then punching holes in cards, you're doing it all wrong

[–] Krelis_@lemmy.world 8 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

All you need is a magnetised needle and a steady hand. Or butterflies.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 12 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

text editor application that came with Ubuntu

nano

shivers

[–] Conclusionallusion@lemm.ee 11 points 22 hours ago (10 children)

I'm probably in the minority but I think it's fantastic! No extra baggage, super quick to work with, and it does syntax highlighting pretty well!

[–] faintwhenfree@lemmus.org 5 points 19 hours ago

Nah man, I'm with you, nano is no nonsense get shit done editor. It might not have advanced features but I'm not an advanced man.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] Mic_Check_One_Two@reddthat.com 7 points 23 hours ago

This feels a little bit like Brainfuck tbh.

For what it’s worth, I can think of one thing that would make brainfuck even worse: Instead of using 8 arbitrary characters (it only uses > < + - . , ] and [ for every instruction) for the coding, use the 8 most common letters of the alphabet. Since it ignores all other characters, all of your comments would need to be done without those 8 letters.

For example, “Hello World” in brainfuck is the following:

++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.

If we instead transposed those 8 instructions onto the 8 most common letters of the alphabet, it would look more like this:

eeeeeeeeaneeeeaneeneeeneeenesssstonenentnneasostonnIntttIeeeeeeeIIeeeInnIstIsIeeeIttttttIttttttttInneIneeI
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Daniikk1012@lemmy.world 10 points 23 hours ago (5 children)
[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] Rogue@feddit.uk 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Nano is fine. But Micro is a worthwhile upgrade: https://micro-editor.github.io/

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 day ago

I write all my code on paper and use OCR to convert it. It almost works sometimes.

[–] Gsus4@mander.xyz 4 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 3 points 17 hours ago

Every self-respecting vi user should know enough ex to get by with ed.

[–] Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

Notepad.exe has been my daily driver for anything that doesn't need a compiler for decades.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 day ago

I like SublimeText for everything unless a quick edit at the CLI with Vim.

[–] vfscanf@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Gedit was my main text editor for years. I also used it for work. It has all the basic features that you need for coding. For everything else I use the terminal.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Gloria@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sublime! There are DOZENS of us! Dozens!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] blaue_Fledermaus@mstdn.io 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Code in MS Word because it handles tabs correctly, unlike all code editors.

Tab means "move to the next tabstop", not "advance a fixed amount".

(I don't do it, I'm not THAT insane)

[–] ValiantDust@feddit.org 4 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Me: hits return.

Word: "Sure, here, a new line. I already indented it for you, same as the one before. Like a good IDE."

Me: "That's nice of you, Word, but I want this one to be indented one tab stop less than the line before." Hits delete.

Word: "Delete, you say? Sure, back to the line before."

Me: "No, no! Just delete one tab! Maybe, if I select the line and hit dele..."

Word: "Why of course!"

Me: "Shit, it's gone. Undo! Hmm... Move the thingy here on top?"

Word: "Move all the lines you say? No problem!"

Me: "Nvm, I'll just indent everything by hand with spaces."

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›