this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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[–] blind3rdeye@lemm.ee 61 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I use to think about this a lot, and would constantly try to fix it - trying to look like I wasn't just playing with my dick while doing it.

But now that I'm older I realise most people know clothes do this, and that it doesn't really look like a boner anyway. And people generally aren't looking at me wondering if I've got a boner, and they probably don't care if I do unless I'm also staring at them or something. .... So now I just worry about accidentally staring at people. (And my eyesight isn't great, so it isn't always easy to tell.)

[–] Spookyghost@sh.itjust.works 18 points 23 hours ago

I think this is one of those things that seems like everyone notices when it's you, but when you think about it in reverse you struggle to think of any times you've noticed another person with a 'jacket zipper boner'.

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 6 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Zipper less hoodies don't seem to do this ime

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

IDK why this is downvoted; it's literally the zipper that causes this bulge by being stiffer and less likely to bend like the rest of the material used for the jacket/hoodie/pants.

At least on a jacket or hoodie, you can push it up so the bulge is on your chest or something. Can't really do that with jeans when the zipper is just on the crotch.

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[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 121 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What if you have a boner? Then it provides plausible deniability.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 70 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thank you too, Docker pants.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 2 points 23 hours ago

They're terrible, pants boner is far worse than jacket boner.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Exactly. These and those pants that make it look like you've peed in them just a little but for stylistic reasons are just good things to have out there in the world imo.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

You gotta give!

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[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you have a penis on your stomach, maybe.

You wear crop top jackets?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 22 hours ago

You should only hate it if it makes it look like your boner is smaller than it actually is. No reason to hate it when it's flattering. 😌

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just punch on it to make it clear for everone around that it is not...

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

Make sure to scream things like "yeaaaah, that's it!" and "more, more!" when you do. You have reinforce the visual denial with vocal denial.

[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I actually just have a boner.

[–] Geometrinen_Gepardi@sopuli.xyz 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In case someone is stressing about this (I used to when I was young and dumb), no one cares about your boner, or lack thereof. But someday you might meet someone who does!

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 21 points 1 day ago

When you’re past a certain age, having an unexpected, rebellious boner that refuses to calm down is an achievement. I remember when they were a constant nuisance, so I can relate to the young and dumb guys.

[–] MithranArkanere@lemmy.world 48 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I never wear jackets, but still get those bumps in my jeans somehow.

[–] nandeEbisu@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's because the cloth shrinks in the wash more than the zipper so in order to fit the longer zipper in the smaller cloth it needs to bulge out.

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Worse answer to “Is that a roll of coins in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”

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[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago

Thank you jacket bump for helping me hide the continuous uncontrollable boners I got in school. I could put my hands in my pockets and play pocket pinball all through class!

[–] frigidaphelion@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Episode 1 lmao definitely worth watching if you haven't seen it

[–] Cattail@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I too have a boner that comes out of my stomach

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 4 points 1 day ago

You should get that checked

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Never be ashamed of a good boner.

[–] shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 day ago

Ah to be young again!

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As a tall freak of nature, I'm just thrilled when I find a shirt that reaches that low. You shorts don't know how good you have it.

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[–] Onionguy@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that Curb episode, isn't it the first one even? So great. ^^

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"There's a man in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!"

[–] Onionguy@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

A WATERBOTTLE IT'S JUST A WATERBOTTLE! xD

[–] 1hundred47@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

The very first!

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No way that thing has gotten me into more places than it's gotten me kicked out

[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago

Tummy boner tummy boner

[–] Anamnesis@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This bullshit is why I never wear zip up sweatshirts.

[–] lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Zip-up hoodies are the only sweaters I wear.

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