this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
505 points (81.9% liked)

196

16780 readers
2693 users here now

Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.

Rule: You must post before you leave.

^other^ ^rules^

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Latest hits: if gender is performative that means it’s fake and patriarchy doesn’t exist! I don’t know who Judith Butler is!

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] herinaceus@sh.itjust.works 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is my first downdoot on a blahaj post post, or probably meme in general... I get it's mostly just a joke, but still.

Cis people aren't all fucked in the head or clueless, just like trans people aren't. Allies are able to push for, or at least support trans rights, and unfortunately are a lifeline for trans folk that get shoved out of discussions for "bias."

The "cis bad" memes just add to the lack of understanding, and force and "us vs them" mentality, based only on gender expression. It's not even an optics thing... It just comes off as wanting to be a victim, before Mr Chadson or Ms Becky have been transphobic, or pushed for a bathroom bill, which almost demands a defensive attidude from them both.

Anyways, I have talked with people that are painfully unaware of how gender works/exists. Whether intentional or not, it is not a great time. I would dip out of the interaction ASAP, unless they are trying to understand or learn, which is kind of rare in most cases.

[–] cook_pass_babtridge@feddit.uk 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Talking about trains with my fellow train drivers:

Talking about trains with those fucking idiot bus drivers who don't know shit:

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 109 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Of course you'll have a better time talking about gender with other gender enthusiasts. It's like complaining about how normies can't have a conversation with you about cars for as long as car enthusiasts could.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 55 points 1 week ago (4 children)

‘Gender enthusiasts’ is probably my second favorite euphemism for trans people now. The first being from an old lady who was trying to politely ask if a woman was trans and asked if she was “a woman by choice” 😂

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

starts recording

Okay YouTube, this is my list of the TOP 10 genders of 2024! Tell me how many on this list you know about in the comments below. Leave a like and subscribe and let's get into it. I'll also be having a new video out soon about the best genders upcoming in 2025.

But before we get into todays video I would like to thank todays sponsor. This video has been sponsored by the Association of Gay Frogs

load more comments (1 replies)

"factory stock" vs. "aftermarket custom"

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Y'all overclock your gender?

[–] herinaceus@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago

Undervolting, I've been told, can achieve similar, or sometimes better results, especially when paired with a less overclocked, but still higher gender clock speed...

For example: genderfluid, BUT only across the axis of gastrogenders. Agender also has potential, since in verbal conversation, it sounds dismissive, as if one is simply "a gender," implying the other party should just guess.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"That's right! It goes in the square hole!"

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't remember this part of sex ed.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

American sex ed fails again.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

The fact that it's an evenly split partisan issue with only 0.5% of the population being trans means that you have A LOT of cis allies. Like, statistically, you're more likely to meet several dozens of understanding people than another trans person unless you actively limit your exposure of non-trans people.

There are probably some (not many but some) trans people who conform to binary gender identity beliefs, too, they simply want to be the other gender.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org 42 points 1 week ago

there are so many people out there who can not fathom that the world could in fact be more complex than the version of it presented to them when they were children.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Im a cis person(tho probably not the kind you meant) and i think talking about gender is pretty tiring. I think everyone has their biases and everything but you can make yourself a good person by trying to understand why you have those biasesa at least. And also gender is a prettt complex thing.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If you’re being open minded and respectful even if you don’t understand something (or disengaging if you can’t) then probably 99% of trans people, myself included, aren’t going to have any issue with your questions or contributions to discussions about gender

It’s the (usually cis) people who are at Gender 101 level engagement, think they’re at Gender 501 level engagement, and also want to understand and learn nothing who make this so goddamn tiring 🥲

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 20 points 1 week ago (4 children)

lol no disrespect, but you did just say “be open minded and respectful” after posting a meme equating all cis people to idiot babies

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Let's be honest here, that's a long way of saying "the vast majority of people couldn't give a shit either way how I live my life but they just really really wish I'd stop talking about myself for a minute" 😂

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I got hit with the exact opposite yesterday: "gender cannot be only performative because patriarchy exists and that would mean invalidating people hurt by it"

So tiring

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

So close yet so far, the entire point is that it's performative and therefore millions of people were hurt for no real reason.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can you please explain this in simple words to someone not knowing too much about how gender is 'performative' ?

I'm not a native speaker but I'm usually okay but new things needs to be learned :-)

A link is welcomed too ofc!

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 37 points 1 week ago (10 children)

Stealing the answer because I'm nowhere near as articulate on this matter:

The basic (and simplified) idea is that gender--what we think of as masculine and/or feminine--is performed in the ways we act, speak, dress, move, etc. and doesn't really exist outside of that performance. We learn how to perform this way from dominant culture and conventions--what someone might (incorrectly) call "normal male" or "normal female" behavior. But these "normal" qualities (and genders themselves) don't actually exist--rather, we are all repeatedly mimicking them and are rewarded for doing so (or punished for not doing so). We merely impersonate the qualities we've been taught match the gender we've been told we possess (like females being demure or males being aggressive) until those impersonations (and gender itself) become belief and seen as something natural and assumed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/4dddcq/eli5butlers_gender_performativity/

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Thank you very much!

Very simple to understand too IMO.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 week ago

I literally had a moment today where I had to explain to a coworker that some feminine presenting women can have xy chromosomes or swyer syndrome. That apparently jenga towered his cis male beliefs on gender.

[–] CEbbinghaus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The real problem is that studying human behaviour when it comes to gender/sex is inherently flawed as any attempts to isolate nature & nurture would be inhumane. Imagine raising a baby from birth to adulthood never having interacted with another human being just to see whether they portray the behaviours we associate with their gender / sex.

My personal opinion is that it's probably a little of column A, & a little of column B. The higher levels of testosterone in the male sex would naturally lead to higher levels of aggressiveness. But the extent to which that would impact our daily behaviours is a huge unknown. Presumably it accounts for enough to be measurable but not enough to make a difference. But who knows.

P.s If you know more about this than me and have a study that disagrees with me please post it. Haven't done my research as this isn't something I think about day to day.

[–] Quadrexium@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think someone in the 1900s tried isolating a baby from human contact and it just died of stress.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The more I look into genders and try to understand it the less I understand. On the gender wiki (apparently gender is so complex it has its own wiki??) I was reading about 'genderfae' and 'genderfoe' kinda understanding it, kinda not. But when I got to the comments and I saw "gender ≠ pronouns" in the comments and I just gave up trying to understand anything 😭
I'm sure I'll look into it more at some point but for a '3am browsing Wikipedia because I can't sleep™️' adventure I did not have the critical thinking for that level of thought

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 week ago

FWIW I would consider regular Wikipedia a much better source to learn about transgender 101 topics, the stuff you’re talking about is really niche even within the trans community, haha

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When someone tells me their gender I nod and move on. I neither really care nor do I care to understand it.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›