I was taking a history class at my local junior college when the professor asked who in the class identified as a feminist. I'm an old white guy in a class full of kids (finally getting a degree) and was one of only 3 people to raise their hands. He explained that he doesn't since he's for equality for all or some such.

I was honestly shocked to see this 30 something guy who at least sounds fairly progressive, and who has been to some legitimately horrifying parts of the world doing conflict journalism, being blase about this fight.

[–] JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee 11 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

We can thank Rush Limbaugh for popularizing the concept of a feminazi and poisoning public perception of feminism by purposefully misrepresenting what it stands for.

It's one of the most obvious examples of people successfully using social engineering and manipulation of public opinion for terrible reasons and it still worked. They didnt even try to hide it.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminazi

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 days ago

Phylis Schlafly. She cosplayed as a frumpy housewife while turning the wheels behind the scenes to help wed the evangelical movement with the GOP. While basically advocating for women to be chained to the stove. She is one of the greatest political operatives of the 20th century, helping slow and undo SO much social progress.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 3 points 6 days ago

TIL!! i knew it was a contrived term but i had no clue it was so centered around a single individual in its origins

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

one of the self defenses of patriarchy is definitely just to misinform people about whom feminism is for, and so oftentimes that’s one of the first hurdles to overcome when discussing feminism. that’s why conservative spheres are often so obsessed with the “man-hating feminazi” stereotype—even though they make up a incredibly marginal subset of “feminist” voices, giving them a platform creates a useful strawman for conservatives to argue for the need of anti-feminism.

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I was very lucky insofar as to be raised by a second wave feminist mother (1970s so I think that's the right cadre). She was active in NOW and basically an equal partner to my father in just about all things.

Had I not, I'd like to think I'd have stumbled upon it eventually.

I wish I believed in hell, so Limbaugh could burn for his two faced sophistry for eternity. Then again, he was basically the archetypal prosperity gospel flavor of Christian, so who knows.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 2 points 5 days ago

shout OUT to men and women (especially parents) who break the cycle ❤️

[–] Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah. I think Emma Watson has also said sth similar. Feminism is, in some extent, also about people who identify as men to embrace what they perceive as womanly jobs. Being a socially acceptable stay at home dad will earn you a lot of weird looks and snarky comments questioning your sexuality.

And I understand that that's no where close to the shit that women and people beyond the gender binary experience on a daily basis.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 4 points 6 days ago

emma watson is lowkey the goat, i should pay more attention to what she puts out :) thanks for sharing

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 129 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Ain’t this the truth.

I’m a cis guy who likes to dress feminine around the house, and figured I’d paint my nails sparkly red and green for Christmas. Went into (my very masculine place of) work with them and got a depressing amount of comments asking if I’m gay, or expressing concern that I might be.

My dudes, it’s painted nails. I’m not trying to rail you all. Not least because my standards are far higher.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 89 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And this is also why its called homoPHOBIA. Often these people are literally afraid of gay(or any other queer) people. Nothings scarier than the unknown and especially if all your life theyve told you what horrible acts they perform.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (3 children)

And you secretly are a little curious about it.

[–] shani66@ani.social 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Heterosexuality as we know it today isn't really real, so it makes sense. Having sex with other men (topping specifically) was just something that men did before the rise of a certain evil religion. I'm not really a scholar, but it seems to fit to me. If heterosexuality doesn't actually exist and your religion says anything else is evil, you have to demonize sexuality heavily, and That's exactly what happened.

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[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 27 points 1 week ago

hell yeah brother 💅

[–] laserm@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

"bUt NoRmAlCy.." Fuck this stupid, perverse idea of normalcy. People should be free to express themselves (as long as theyre not harming anyone ofc), no matter their gender. The freedom of expression is fundamentally programmed into the human nature and must be respected in a free society.

[–] Wrufieotnak@feddit.org 23 points 1 week ago

That last paragraph sounds exactly like the words that need to be uttered to them.

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[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 85 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It's a strange feeling, to look back on your life and suddenly see how society has crippled you, knowing how terrible it has been for you, and yet being such an essential part of you, you have neither desire to remove it from yourself nor regret.

Only a desire to stop it from happening to anyone else.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 28 points 1 week ago

This, right here, is why I'm an extremely vigilant mentor for people in my industry. It will eat you alive and take until there's nothing left. Not letting that happen to anyone.

Same stance on parenting: my kids get to be whoever they want to be, and I'm right there with them. The only thing they can't be is an asshole

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wouldn't be able to stand up for others as effectively if I hadn't been at least somewhat hardened by the bullshit and bullying by now.

Unfortunately HTFU is valuable advice in a lot of blue collar spheres. When I give it I typically caveat that it's only a shell, and you have to remember how to take it off.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

HTFU?

Hulk The Fuck Up? (labor)

Hate The Fucking Users? (IT)

Has Tomorrow's Finality Urged (ADHD)

Have To Finally Unwind (everyone)

Having Tits Fixes U (confused)

Hawk Tuah Feminist Union (strong straight women)

How The Fuck U still awake (me)

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[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Well fucking said. Shit goddamn.

I'm the devil's favorite son

Thank you, so much love.

[–] solomon42069@lemmy.world 65 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Growing up, I used to cross dress and lip sync my favourite divas for my friends and family. No one seemed to mind that except my parents who flipped out over it ( Catholic ).

Frankly I don't think any child should be ashamed of having a bit of fun. I don't remember thinking "yeah I'm gonna be a girl now" - I was just dressing up to make my sister and cousins laugh... But society loves to project it's ideas onto kids hey!

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I mean arguably even if you did "become a girl," why's that bad?

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[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

They tried. Oh, sibling, did they try...

And the worst part is that you're fucked either way. If they manage to get you to murder your own soul, you're a husk. If they don't, you're a pariah.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Living life as a pariah isn't so bad, normal people admire when your principles haven't been cynically beat into the dirt

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

And it's not just that, it's the feeling of maintained integrity one has for oneself, it's such an honest and healthy kind of pride to have! I kept hearing the adage that "principles can't keep you fed" over and over while growing up. Even during University, and it was a fucking acting school. But having lived both with and without my principles, I'd rather die starving with my principles intact.

I have no use for the acceptance I'd receive from such fearful, hateful and greedy people. Thanks, but I'd rather love life and its infinite diversity.

I was talking more from the perspective of trying to exist within the patriarchal system, healthy cohabitation is functionally impossible. Even if one tries to walk the edge in between, one will only end up with lacerated feet.

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[–] Elrecoal19@lemm.ee 19 points 1 week ago

Become numb if you do, or become shunned if you don't. And not to talk about bottling emotions and not letting them out healthily... because a bottle can only hold so much stuff until it explodes

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