this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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My kid probably got pretty close to that number. He's fine.
Good kid. He's got my wife's eyes and my eating disorder.
Actually, there is only 1 Santa who gets cloned into every Santa believing household on earth. But this clone has a deadly allergy to milk. The body gets removed by an elf afterwards.
Could also be the result of transporter shenanigans. Chief O'Brien has a regularly updated copy in the pattern buffer and releases a few handfuls every holiday season... then a quick memory scan and into the matter recycler 'til next time.
What a coincidence, every holiday season I also release a few handfuls.
So like a Mr Meseeks?
He needs some time to recover. That's why Christmas is only once a year
That doesn't seem like that many cookies. Assuming an average of three cookies per household, that's only ~100 million houses visted. Santa is either racist or he's being paid off by the elven mafia to exclusively visit certain homes, only logical explanation for the discrepancy in the cookie consumption to global household ratio.
Gotta imagine not every house puts out cookies. And since there are ~127 million households, that seems to work out pretty well.
Tho I have heard he leaves out Milwaukee for religious reasons.
There are what now? This planet has 8 billion people, Einstein.
Ahh, but that 127 million only accounts for the United States or perhaps a few other nations. There surely are at least a couple other countries in the world that are the 'Santa Visit Roster'
Other countries don't have to pay him to visit
In a lot of places around Europe, Santa visits early December.
My friend, Santa eats mince pies and sherry in Britain. A few cookies on the other side of the moat barely soaks up the alcohol.
Honestly, it's amazing he doesn't fall out of the sleigh.
It's amazing how Santa always wanted to drink the same cheap lager as my dad.
I need sleep. I read this as three numbers in an array and was curious why Santa split them over three days.
Thats why i always write bigs numbers without any separators
336150386 is so much more readable
Also me after eating that many cookies on christmas night...
bring me a bucket ........ and one wafer thin meeent
But it's only WHAFFER THEEN