this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 195 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Doing political stuff for Christmas is one way to ensure you have a nazi kid forever. Just ignore the politics, give a normal gift. Love will conquer all the hatred that he has. Good luck.

[–] rayyy@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Love will conquer all the hatred

Not only that, but the hatred on the right will consume them. Sit back, lay low, don't participate and let the fools burn themselves. Opposition will only give them targets to blame for their failures.

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[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 131 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Ignore all the joke answers here. It seems insensitive given the subject matter. He's probably lonely and feeling left out. If he has siblings it's all the more likely. I was an alienated teenager who was in a place similar to your son I think. I eventually realized I and many others we're being used to further the agenda of some unsavory fucks who wanted to send us back to the 1860's. Try to show him how much he means to you. Let him know you care about him. Just don't drive him away, Show some love and compassion and he'll realize he's drinking the kool-aid eventually I think. Hope this helps, good luck!

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[–] enbyecho@lemmy.world 109 points 1 month ago (7 children)

A plane ticket. Others have suggested he's bored and I concur. IMO, he needs to be intellectually challenged while simultaneously having his fears assuaged. Fear, I believe, is a key driver in pushing people toward fascist ideologies. Most likely he fears not being loved.

Traveling to countries with very different cultures can be both stimulating and reassuring, especially if it involves some significant challenge - a physical one like climbing a significant peak or somewhere that's just super hard to get to. You can demonstrate that you love and care for him by going with him. Just the two of you.

[–] thericofactor@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I concur. I noticed a lot of right wing people in the US never travel at all. They are only seeing and hearing information off of the Internet, colored by specific algorithms. If all you see of the world beyond your borders is through Fox news, you will have a skewed view.

Have him travel to another 1st world country, Europe, Japan or Canada, to see how people actually live there and there is nothing to fear.

Ideally, if you can afford it you can join him. I can wholeheartedly recommend a city like Antwerp, Copenhagen or Berlin for some history and also a relaxed atmosphere. If he's more into nature the Norse fjords, the Greek coast, Ibiza (combines nature with partying) or the Swiss Alps are all amazing.

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[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 77 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Specifically try to get him into some hobby or social activity that will draw his attention away from the fasc stuff. Was there anything he used to love, any friends he's drifted away from that you could try and get him talking to again through a shared activity?

Source: am psych nurse. You don't confront / directly argue with delusions and other thoughts related to maladaptive social behavior; you subtly reduce their attractiveness while encouraging healthy human connection.

[–] Doorbook@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Additionally, I would suggest activities that doesn't isolate him further or put him in a group of like minded people. Cooking classes would be nice.

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[–] superkret@feddit.org 61 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why is his political opinion important for a Christmas present? Just give him something he'd like.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 42 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

And if all he wants for Christmas is an ethnically homogeneous fatherland?

Just stick to socks I say.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 33 points 1 month ago

Just make sure they're white.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If he's consuming right wing social media, it might be because he's bored. Others have suggested left wing media, but maybe just finding other activities to do would help. These cost money, but maybe camping/hiking, hobby electronics/combat robots, dirt bikes/go-karts, RC planes/drones or metal fabrication are ideas that come to my mind. These are hobbies that have either politics neutral or left leaning communities. If he picks up that you're trying to politically influence him, he'll likely dig his heal in.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

This is great advice, and combine it with talking to him. My son was into Tate, and then Rogan, and a few others throughout his years. He would tell me about something they said and I would tear it down with logic and empathy, and then explain the right mindset from which to view whatever the given subject was. Indoctrination requires isolation, so keep an open dialogue, and an open mind, and talk them down from the ledge.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Kaiyoto@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Something that interests him other than fascism. Idk why that has anything to do with a gift. A gift is there to show appreciation and love, not to manipulate their pov.

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[–] loomi@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

Voucher for 1 free vasectomy?

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 23 points 1 month ago

Coal. For some reason Republicans love that stuff.

[–] Philosofuel@futurology.today 22 points 1 month ago

I would say, a good conversation. Listen to him, ask question, don't be too judgemental (and that can be hard). But also accept, that for a big part, you can't form/force his way of thinking. In the end he has to find his own way in life.

[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Some kids adopt an edgy political identity as a form of protest or rebellion. I can see this being the case here, especially if your whole family is particularly left-leaning. Kid wants to feel like he has an autonomy over his own decision making and that he's not just a carbon copy of you or his siblings, so he becomes a contrarian.

As a teen I was also taken in by extremist political ideology on 4chan, but the thing that snapped me out of that is, surprisingly enough, my curriculum at school focusing heavily on critical thinking and problem solving as essential skills. That's unfortunately not something that can easily be condensed down into a gift-sized package. I'm sure there are some books out there that can help, but I worry that it might be too on-the-nose or that he might just not like reading much to be interested in dry subject matter like philosophy or political science.

I kind of agree with other posters here that taking a family trip somewhere, maybe not explicitly as a gift for him, but as an experience for all of your children, will expose him to stimuli that drastically differ from the way he currently sees the world, which is influenced by a nonstop stream of fearmongering propaganda and a lack of perspective of what a world outside the town or city he grew up in actually looks like.

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I’m not right leaning, but I live in a right leaning area, and I think most all of us could stand a bit of time back in nature. So here’s what I would consider.

  • A hunting or fishing license and classes
  • A long weekend camping in the woods
  • A trip to a national park
  • Boat license lessons
  • A craft class at a local Uni, like welding or pottery. They’re usually pretty cheap and a lot of fun
  • A rafting trip

Not knowing him at all nor what he likes, perhaps a guitar and guitar lessons. That’s something I truly enjoyed in my late teens/early 20s. Or tickets to a music show or comedian he likes.

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[–] LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

So, what makes you think he's been taken in by fascist doctrine? Are we talking, "he thinks Dave Chapelle is funny and rolls his eyes at wokeness" or are we talking "defends hitler at the dinner table"? I ask just because I feel like some very liberal/leftist people can be pretty jumpy about things that are ultimately harmless. Additionally he might just be doing/saying things to act out and get a rise out of you. You're not gonna fix that by making him read "white fragility" or something.

As far as gifts go I agree with many others in suggesting something that will make him interact with other worldviews in the real world. Maybe you can get him into a hobby that is shared by people across many different socioeconomic backgrounds like basketball or martial arts or travel or something.

[–] Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Start with video games. But try to make it a game that has couch co-op so your family can come together.

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[–] Norin@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you know if the doctrine he’s been taken in by is religious or secular in nature?

I ask because I could recommend some books you could get him that just might get the kid to think a little harder about things.

For context, I teach philosophy and religion for some community colleges and have been looking for ways to get these Gen Z alt right boys to quit the propaganda.

While a lot of them seem to be lost causes, there are some who can be challenged to read outside their sphere, so long as what I give them isn’t too overtly “other.”

Depending on what he’s into, there might be some authors who know how to talk to an oppositional reader.

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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 month ago

Ask him what he wants and use that as a starting point?

[–] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 18 points 1 month ago

An education?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 17 points 1 month ago

Plane ticket to Peru and a Ayahuasca retreat

[–] chilicheeselies@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

When i was in ny early 20s, i was a Ron Paul guy. When I was in my early 30s, I was a Bernie guy.

So what changed, and what was the same? In my 20s, I didnt have a fundamental understanding of how money really works. Ron Paul was big on the gold standard, which makes sense kn the surface. Crypto is similar where it makes sense on the surface; finite supply means no inflation and no value loss. I somehow also reasoned that not having the gold standard was the cause of inequality, but I honeslty cant understand why, and i cant remember either.

In my 30s, I understood how they money system works mich better. Why we left the gold standard, and how it was holding back progress. I understood how our money is actually backed by muscle, and therefore the national debt doesnt really matter all that much until the day comes when the dollar has no value, because the US is defunct.

Im sure I have much more to learn as I am in my early 40s now.

The point I am trying to make, is that your son probably lacks understanding and wisdom, and is currently easily swayed by surface level logic.

Thisbis really in addition to the other great stuff people have said in here

[–] FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

The more you try to overtly meddle the more the kid will be convinced of their beliefs, reactionaries thrive off disagreement and arguments.

Get them something normal, perhaps something the connects with nature. Your goal should be to get them to connect with you and the rest of the family, you want them too feel like they are part of the in-group.

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[–] shatteredsword@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 15 points 1 month ago

The Wall (the full album) by Pink Floyd

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I don't know how to put this delicately, but:

1.) I grew up in this line of thinking (but also deeply religious, so it's a little different) and it dissipated due to two main things: psychedelics and losing weight/becoming more confident and in-shape. In my case, I hated myself because I was unattractive and very overweight. I saw other people getting girls and resented how easy it seemed, while I felt invisible.

2.) Much of my family is like this and it is always due to a similar lack of confidence/self-loathing.

I'm not suggesting anything, just throwing it out there. That's a hard thing to "gift" around, if it's even at all potentially relevant. Gym membership or weights? You'd have to have a pretty unique relationship with your son to give him psychedelics or a trip to a nice strip club, and I'm not even sure that solves anything necessarily (just using it as an extreme example). Could be badass. Could be really weird/icky. Probably the latter. Massage is less weird? I don't know.

Which is why I agree with the sentiment of separating it all from Christmas and just love him and give him something that shows you know him and know what he would like, so that he feels seen and appreciated. "I'm not going anywhere" is the most-powerful message you can try to send. I'd say IF you try to gift something like that, make sure it's only a side item. Don't make the entire thing about your differences.

Many cliches of parenting turn out to be realities as you go. You find yourself realizing tropes exist for a reason. They grow up fast. Different phases at different periods. Moody teenagers. They're not always true, but they often turn out to be understandable. Besides the above, it's worth considering whether there might be some element of "rebellion" in it, if he grew up liberal. Maybe it's just "doing the opposite of my lame family," like a little bit of a "fuck you, dad!!!" phase? No matter what, you lose the more you dramatically respond. I think riding it out by being the rock who loves him no matter what is ultimately the best play, which means some awesome gift that he would love.

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[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I'm not joking or kidding or insincere. I actually don't know what to do.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Get him something related to his interests. It's weird to make Christmas political like this

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[–] wreel@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)
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Reading through the comments here, I would say a gift certificate or membership to some activity they've expressed interest in. Ideally, something physical, that either involves working/playing/whatever with other people, or which has a social element to it.

My biased selection would be rock climbing if this is of some interest and you have a climbing gym that isn't a giant pain to access (which you might not). Solo sport, but a) you need a belayer - that was my Dad when I was doing it, and b) the gym rats I've come across are often very friendly, open people.

Can be as challenging as you make it, gets you talking with IRL people, opportunity for what sounds like really necessary quality time going up there, if he gets into bouldering or makes a gym buddy and can get there himself he can eventually do it independently, etc.

Might make sense for them, might not - only you would know, really.

[–] LordGimp@lemm.ee 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

An extremely late term abortion

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nah. Kids are easily influenced.

You take 100 kids and feed nazi propaganda all the time. 99 of them will become nazis.

We all hate nazis, but if you were put in the same environment as the nazi, chances are, you'll become a nazi.

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[–] kava@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

let your children come to their conclusions on their own. do not try to force them into believing one thing or another. share what you believe is right and let them critically think and analyze the world for themselves

it's perfectly natural for teenagers to rebel against their parent's world view- especially when they feel like they are being forced into it. it's part of growing up and crafting your own unique identity. nobody has it all figured out when they are a teenager, even though they think they do. so they may seem arrogant and ignorant.. but that's perfectly normal. if you successfully imparted them the values of empathy and compassion when they were young, they will eventually come to proper belief systems

as for present, you know your son a lot better than any of us will.

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