this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2024
975 points (96.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26896 readers
2499 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee 276 points 1 week ago (3 children)

For those who don't know, this is a decades old joke.

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 122 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is that a picture of a tweet of a printout of a MS Notepad file that was probably cut and pasted from a forwarded email, newsgroup post, or web page?

my head hurts

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 46 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Next time you see it it'll be a 1-minute mp4 with a loop of some crap music that means a specific vibe to 15 year olds.

I don't know how much more bandwidth inefficient we can make it after that.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Embed it in a PowerPoint presentation and somehow it will triple in file size

[–] tbird83ii@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't forget the voice over reading the whole thing like its not right in front of me... "This doctor needed to call the burn unit after an attorney questioned him"...

[–] jas0n@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Also, don't forget to split the video in half so you can watch someone react to the video you're watching.

[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Upscale it to 4K for no reason

yeah that'll do it.

[–] residentmarchant@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Don't forget subway surfers!

[–] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Let me introduce you to...

The Metaverse!

[–] sznowicki@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We need bash.org have come back

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh that's unlocked some memories. Wow what a flashback.

[–] jatone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

yeah back when the internet was good and idiots hadnt congregated on it yet.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Every group has its idiots, but I will admit it felt like a higher class of idiot.

[–] TehWorld@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

Seriously, older than the internet.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 78 points 1 week ago (2 children)

From the last time I saw this, what I understood was, the lawyer isn’t asking the witness if there’s a possibility the person in question was alive, the lawyer is trying to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the person in question was not only undeniably dead, but also impossible for the person to be alive.

Source: my memory from a random comment on the internet, pay it forward

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 67 points 1 week ago

This exchange never happened. There is no person in question. It's a joke.

[–] Moops@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah that makes sense. I used to work in a position where I had to testify in court regularly about the results of independent findings the court requested. There were often lines of questioning that were about establishing details. The questions seemed silly, but it wasn't about the specific pieces of information it was about establishing that "Thing A" was absolutely true (or false) as of a specific point on a timeline. I never had any fun exchanges like this though lol.

[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Funny and technically perjury.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Would it really be (serious question, as I dont know a whole lot about legal matters)? My limited understanding was that perjury is lying under oath, and sarcasm, while it does involve saying untrue statements, isnt considered lying in everyday speech because what it actually communicates is the opposite of the literal meaning of the words. Since laws deal with humans and not computers, my assumption would be that it probably works in such a way as to depend on what message a person is actually communicating rather than the precise syntax by which they communicate it?

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Sarcasm does not fly in court. Everything you say can and will be used against you. You do not have to be the defendant for that to apply. I sat through a lot of civil cases. Most of the people who lost, lost because they were being sarcastic. Sometimes, their LAWYER would take up this attitude, but judges are people, and they DO NOT like attitude. I was specifically a witness and sat through a lot of cases. This hit home for me.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Most of the people who lost, lost because they were being sarcastic.

What a complete and utter rubbish.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That was my experience. You also have to remember I I was in civil court.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You made a general statement that MOST of people lost their cases just because they were sarcastic. This is utter tosh.

Judges may not like sarcasm, no argument here. But to say that most people lost due to sarcasm is a complete nonsense.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

That is what I said, yes. I had to sit through everyone else's cases. If they were rude, they lost. Most of them that lost were rude.

Edit: I am giving you my anecdotal experience that was across 30+ cases. It was a lot. That's why I'm fairly confident in my assertion. If you want to give me stats, I'll listen. Otherwise, you just seem combative. I even remember several example cases I could give you.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 1 points 1 week ago

There should be a counterpart to “copaganda” for legal shows and media that depict the court as a pristine, high-stakes, yet ultimately fair process. It's intriguing to witness people's initial confrontations with corruption in this context—I understand their defensiveness, as the introduction of cognitive dissonance can be super uncomfortable.

On another note, it's disheartening to consider how what you experienced likely contributes to the disproportionate legal contempt faced by POC compared to white individuals. Perceptions of rudeness vary widely across cultures, which can definitely influence systemic racism in the legal system.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Yup, let's double down on your nonsense and your lack of understanding correlation and causation 🙄

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I'm asking for stats? Prove your point with better evidence or move on ass hole. You haven't provided any evidence for your argument. You've just been argumentative.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

Keep digging.

[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 0 points 1 week ago

Sarcasm is pretty much by definition lying to insult someone or something.

Best case scenario the judge holds you in contempt of court. Worst case you go to prison for perjury.

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sarcasm and humor rarely work in your favor in a court setting, it's true. That was a pretty inane line of questioning, however.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He's an expert who's probably old and sick of answering questions like this because even if they're (idiotically) technically necessary, they sound incredibly stupid.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Then the atheist professor dropped the chalk and, to the surprise of that haughty demon, it did not break...

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

5th degree burn!

[–] bruhsoulz@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 week ago

This is fucked😭😭😭