this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 210 points 1 week ago (12 children)

I was once seeing a girl for a couple weeks that FUCKING ROOFIED MY DRINK so she could look through my phone while I was lying there watching her unable to move. It was absolutely fucked.

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 68 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's horrible, I hope you're doing better now

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 102 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’m married now, and this was over a decade ago. As soon as I was able to function again I kicked her out of my house and never spoke to her again.

[–] innermeerkat@jlai.lu 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

From « a couple weeks ago », to « I’m married now » oh boy, that escalated quickly but then I saw the decades word! Good for you you were able to ditch this abuser.

Edit: ha, I misread the whole thing, my bad

[–] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 34 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Good thing you managed to stay conscious, holy shit!
Didn't even know that was possible

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[–] Willie@lemmy.world 150 points 1 week ago (2 children)

But the only place men have to go to is an imaginary fish thing.

[–] Schmeckinger@lemmy.world 92 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You leave blobby alone. He is trying his best.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 68 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Poor thing's been ripped from its habitat into this cruel low pressure environment .

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 50 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

Unfortunately the image of them around the internet and educational book aren't. Those are what left of them after getting drag into the atmosphere they're not used to in high speed. It's like showing a decayed corpse of human and say "this is what human actually looks like".

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[–] LongboardingLad@lemmy.world 142 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Thanks for posting this! Being male and being abused is a very isolating experience on many levels. I wish good things upon you, friend.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago

🫂

I am hoping for better things and healthier relationships in your future

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[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 132 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Really applies to most things. I'm not a dude, trans woman, but I've gotten sexually harassed a lot both pre and post transition and the response I got pre and post transition is night and day. Pretransition people treated me like I was crazy for feeling unsafe and like I was supposed to enjoy it.
Honestly, men should be allowed to feel unsafe around women, or really allowed to feel unsafe in general, and be taken seriously for it.

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 68 points 1 week ago (1 children)

One downfall of what I only hesitantly refer to as modern feminism (although really I'm talking about terfs and the terf-adjacent) is that it has painted men as dangerous by default. I'm also a trans woman so I've seen both sides of the coin, too... I do feel less safe now, this is true. Many things were easier when I was living as a man. But I was never dangerous or an abuser.

Nonetheless, a former partner used accusations of abuse against me and turned so many people on me. The only ones that stuck by me were former romantic partners, who knew the accusations couldn't have been true. For everyone else, it was so easy to accept that a man - even a clearly gentle one - would be an abuser.

In reality I've been a victim of abuse - physical, emotional, sexual... All long before I transitioned.

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[–] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 97 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Woah stop making men feel safe and seen. Next thing they'll become feminists, or worse, empathetic and caring humans!

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[–] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 73 points 1 week ago

abusers are trash, no matter what their gender. May they all rot.

[–] Catpurple@lemmy.blahaj.zone 72 points 1 week ago (2 children)

An abusive partner accusing the other of cheating is very often a projection of the fact they themselves had been cheating. Since they know they would cheat, and were/are, they either assume the other person is the same way, or simply don't want to draw attention to their affair. It's an awful thing.

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[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Al..right. Let's do a little sanity check and let's see how up or downvoted is gets.

  1. It is absolutely true that violence against women is structurally endemic in our societies and they represent a large majority of domestic violence
  2. It is also absolutely true that domestic violence against men is clearly under-reported, to an unknown but significant extant
  3. It is absolutely true that abuse is abuse

Those assertions do not contradict each other.

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[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 61 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (20 children)

This reminds me of the Heard v Depp case, on the two X chromosomes subreddit there was this long ass comment from someone who experienced abuse and said she wasn't the "perfect victim" because she fought back and hurt her abuser back and how because of this it was harder to get away from her abuser.

And when I asked how does she know that in Heard v Depp case it isn't Depp who is the imperfect victim? Because he had multiple partners testifying to his character of being a kind man etc, while Heard had the opposite (AFAIK).

All I got was silence and downvotes.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 49 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I am a 6'6'', 280lbs man and my ex-wife was a 4'7'' 97lbs woman. She would hit me and psychologically abuse me a lot, and nobody would give a shit because "how can she hurt you? You're such a big guy!"

She would use weapons, you bastards! She would hit me while I was asleep! She would hit me in the nuts! And even if it didn't always physically hurt, it definitely hurt in other ways. Fuck off with that mentality.

[–] mm_maybe@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My wife once hit me in front of my kids because she didn't like my pointing out a double standard in how she was treating them. The one she was favoring recently started hitting the other one in a similar manner--basically just to silence her when she said something he didn't like--and when I pointed out the similarity to my wife's actions and suggested he had learned it from her she got mad and claimed that rather than hitting me she had "hit my hand away" which is a lie and she knows it. It is 100% classic spousal abuse and gaslighting, and yet due to the sheer size difference between us--I'm a foot taller--I feel ridiculous calling it that, and don't want to find out what else my son learns is OK from his mom if I'm not around, so here I am still married to her, mostly trying to forget the abuse when it's not actively happening. She's been abusive, but I'm not really in any physical danger, so staying seems like the rational option in my situation... I imagine that's relatively common among men.

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[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago (25 children)

I have a friend who I haven't been able to hang out with for several years because his wife is insane and posessive, and he's decided to just ride it out until the kids are all 18 so he can divorce her without having to pay her child support.

He'll still support his children, but he'll do it directly instead of through her.

[–] Ragnarok314159@sopuli.xyz 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It’s me, your buddy - well maybe not your exact buddy but a dude living in this same scenario.

Please hang out when that last kid turns 18 and we are free. It’s horribly lonely and there is no one to help. Getting a divorce just means she gets everything including all the time in the world to manipulate the kids.

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[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago

My ex-wife was arrested for slapping me and breaking my glasses.

Like many other victims of abuse, I stayed married for several more years. Been away from that nutjob since 2009.

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