this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TOWARDS ANY MYTHOLOGY. People may speak of eating your favorite beings, please be prepared for such.

To start off, While I am a pescatarian, I think biblical angels would be delicious fried / grilled, specifically the ones who aren't high enough to be abstract shapes, as I do not think I can stomach a wheel.

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[–] dcoe@lemmy.world 68 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I've been off gluten for a while now for medical reasons and god damn this a thousand times. I would kill for some decent spaghetti.

All the gluten free ones are kinda shit.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I would imagine the FSM to be composed of the platonic ideal of gluten rather than physical gluten, though I'm not sure if that would be more irritating or less. I'd consult a GI and maybe a metaphysician.

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[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Is there gluten in chickpeas? I kinda prefer it to regular

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[–] Walican132@lemmy.today 43 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I mean Jesus is pretty tasty in small doses as is.

[–] megane_kun@lemm.ee 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jesus wafers with grape jelly is something I'd definitely snack on.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] Pudutr0n 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Ok, hear me out... Minotaur sausages.

[–] doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago

Oooooo, imagine the anger packed in them.

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[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

A medium rare Phoenix might be interesting. Though you'd have to work really hard not to burn it, else you get a baby Phoenix.

Many early generation Pokemon might be delicious. I don't want to eat any steel type Pokemon.

[–] megane_kun@lemm.ee 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Charcoal grilled phoenix might be good! Maybe basted in some really hot chili sauce? Or maybe even as simple as a soy sauce based baste. Keeping the phoeinix moist with some basting liquid is probably a good way to keep it from burning.

I don't mind a deep-fried baby Phoenix tho.

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[–] doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I never thought about burning a phoenix might be problematic. But isn't that an infinite phoenix glitch in which someone can keep making more phoenixes to eat?

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Dark thought for a D&D group: How much of a Phoenix do you think you need to keep for it to respawn?

[–] megane_kun@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think if not fleshed out in the mythology being used in the setting, it's in the DM's prerogative. If I were DM, I'd say the Phoenix has to actually die before it can respawn.

Slicing off a Phoenix's wings will just result in an injured and very pissed-off Phoenix.

Moreover, I'd stipulate that whatever Phoenix parts (butchered, raw, or cooked, or even partly-digested) would disappear whenever that Phoenix respawns. And for a spicy twist: someone who digests any part of a Phoenix will have a psychic link to the Phoenix. Wisdom check after every long rest (three days after ingesting the Phoenix) to determine whether or not the person retains control of their body. Failing this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the Phoenix gaining complete control. Succeeding this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the person regaining complete control of their own body.

EDIT:

Thinking about this more, I think this can be fleshed out even more. There is only one Phoenix, which was eaten by a bunch of people believing eating it would result in gaining whatever powers the Phoenix originally had, maybe being impervious to fire. However, the Phoenix took over their bodies instead. Many many many years later, the Phoenix never really dies: it just choose a body it controls, and transforms it to "its original body". Thus, now, the Phoenix is known for its "immortality".

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[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

I bet JΓΆrmungandr the world-serpent, who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil-tree, destined to kill and be killed by Thor, tastes like chicken.

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm a vegetarian so I want either a golden apple or an apple from Eden.

[–] doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I'm not picky.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

A golden apple enscribed with "kallisti".

Cthulu Nigiri maybe?

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] essell@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Ironically, the best.

[–] Jonnyprophet@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Wow... Legit. All you can eat too. Just stop back tomorrow.

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A Griffin, the Turducken of the Middle Ages

[–] doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago

Ehehehhehe, turducken.

[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 month ago

A bite of the Ouroboros, why should the serpent be the only one that gets a taste of itself?

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Didn't Zeus go around appearing as things like swans? Is swan like goose? Christmas Zeus, with a bonus of all that fat to fry potatoes in is my choice. Just gotta catch him in swan form.

[–] Jonnyprophet@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Tiny Tim: Mom, look at the Christmas Zeus! It's almost as big as me!

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[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 14 points 1 month ago

Flying spaghetti monster feels quite obvious

Beyond that I'm vegan so I'd eat snacks off Aphrodite's belly, therefore snacking upon Aphrodite

[–] roux@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

I drink trash wine and love carbs anyway so I'm going with Jesus.

[–] notfromhere@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I bet Aphrodite would taste divine.

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[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Bro's gonna get to the great beyond and experience horrors beyond human comprehension for this one

[–] ped_xing@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

[–] frauddogg@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The flying spaghetti monster.

[–] doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A classical sauciness, but with what sauce?

[–] frauddogg@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

Probably marinara tbh; I'd love to say alfredo, but dairy's been kicking my gut's ass lately.

[–] binary45@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I’d say one of those immortality peaches from Chinese myth. Probably one of the eternal youth ones that blooms every six thousand years.

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I've been binging Hades 2 this week, so: Dionysus. Have you seen that package?!

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[–] Philote@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago

A nice Caribbean Faun curry sounds delicious.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I would most prefer the Tyrant (the judeo-muslim-Christian God) because nothing tastes better than vindictive spite.

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

@Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net Need a member of the birb council to check in here to see if this is legit.

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[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I loved swordfish steak the one time I had it, so I'd bet that Scylla, Charybdis, or the Kraken would be quite good.

Oh, also The Kraken is quite tasty.

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[–] dontgooglefinderscult@lemmings.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Allah can turn things to ice, and thus would be mint flavored.

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Dionysus has gotta taste like wine.

[–] Xiisadaddy@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 1 month ago

My issue is most are human. So id need to find one that is an animal. I cant do Jesus either cuz i cant eat gluten. Unless he is gluten free bread? idk

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