this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The erection won't do you much good as you try to avoid going into respiratory arrest:

Symptoms may appear within 10 to 20 minutes after the bite, and death within two to six hours, where severe pain radiates to the rest of the limb, systemic effects include tachycardia, increased blood pressure, vertigo, fever, sweating, visual disturbances, nausea, vomiting, difficulty breathing and paralysis.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

... But... Also the erection, yes? πŸ€”

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MrLLM@ani.social 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Does this applies to 70 yo? Otherwise we don’t have a deal. Asking for a friend.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fully erect, like hard in the tip

You’ll feel like a kid again

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago

So, i see no downside here 😁

[–] Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The good news is you get a four hour erection.
The bad news is that you die within two hours.

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

Hey! Necrophiliacs need love, too!

[–] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Alternative wording is gives you an erection for the rest of your life.

[–] jimitsoni18@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago

And even a few hours after that!

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So, uh, is the spider hotter in person? Because the picture isn't doing it for me.

[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

nope.

and it was a challengin fap indeed

[–] JeezNutz@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago

I lasted 4 hours trying to cum

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

FWIW, even if it only caused a four hour long erection, that is not what your partner is going to want.

Trust me on this.

After an hour--usually less than half an hour, IME--it's not going to matter how much lube you have, they're going to be hurting. You'll be frustrated, they'll be frustrated and in pain, and no one is going to be happy. Maybe there are a very, very few women that like getting pounded for over an hour straight, but I haven't dated one yet.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 27 points 1 month ago

Maybe there are a very, very few women that like getting pounded for over an hour straight, but I haven’t dated one yet.

I have. She loved going for marathon sex sessions.

Just not with me.

[–] flicker@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

In a move I'm going to regret forever, I'll admit to the internet that I love being cuddle-fucked for literally as long as I can get it. (There's a catch- has to be my boyfriend.)

More than an hour and about 15 minutes and we'll probably need some lube, though.

After more than half an hour I just get bored.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago

and then you die.

[–] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Priapism isnt something you want. Eventually the blood will clot in your penis and no new blood can flow in, causing the cells in your penis to die from lack of oxygenated blood eventually leading to amputation. Better make those 4 hours count

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago

Brazilian doctor: I'm sorry Sr. Joaquim. You only have 1 day left to live

Sr. Joaquim: grabs boots and very big knife

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Doesn't it lead to erectile dysfunction for several months after being bitten? I mean on top of the pain and non usable erection? I guess I don't want to try, thanks.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's a kind of erectile dysfunction.

[–] Johandea@feddit.nu 9 points 1 month ago

Death usually lasts longer than a few months, though...

[–] 474D@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Depends on when rigor mortis sets in ...

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 month ago

There have been deaths, but the bite is survivable. Still extremely unpleasant

[–] prex@aussie.zone 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] chicolismo@programming.dev 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] prex@aussie.zone 1 points 1 month ago

Yeah.
As a fellow baldish person I like to think I just have very vivid dreams.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

You don't want that spider bite: https://youtu.be/JN0VtHez9xI (12:35 SmarterEveryDay video)