this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 290 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Ok.....forget Jessica Simpson. Let's Thanos snap her out of existence, and then Men in Black laserpen flashy thing everyone on earth to forget she ever existed. Everybody on the same page then? Ok, cool. Let's continue.

Ok.....

The name Blessica sucks.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 136 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah I think the moral of this story is not to knock-up someone who likes the name Blessica.

[–] accideath@lemmy.world 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Or whose last name is Blimpson.

[–] IcyToes@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (8 children)

I don't think you can "knock-up" a guy.

[–] accideath@lemmy.world 42 points 2 weeks ago

We live in the 21st century. Anything is possible. Also, women have last names, too.

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 29 points 2 weeks ago

Not with that attitude.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago

you can certainly try

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[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

someone who likes the name Blessica

I picture this as someone who goes to church a lot, reads romance novels, bakes awesome cookies, and says things like "sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"

[–] Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee 36 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 181 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

It's a child not a vanity plate

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[–] ChowJeeBai@lemmy.world 176 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Parenting is for the good of the kids, not the wants of the parents.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 36 points 2 weeks ago

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Projecting your views onto your kid only ends up with them resenting you and you feeling like they can't meet expectations.

Some things are non-negotiable: my kids aren't allowed to be disrespectful shit-bagels, but other than that they get to decide who they want to be. I am fortunate enough to get to discover that with them.

[–] donuts@lemmy.world 132 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I refuse to believe this isn't a shitpost

Edit: I need to start reading the communities stuff gets posted in

[–] huginn@feddit.it 61 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The original community was namenerds and digging through the original poster's submission history I'm seeing some pretty bad poetry, 90 day fiance content and grieving the death of their parents: all spread out across the past year.

... I don't think it's a shit post.

[–] donuts@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Nah there's no record of 'Blimpson' being a surname, I call bullshit. But your investigate efforts are appreciated.

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

My BS detector is on yellow alert, but here's the reddit profile. I feel almost like the original OP may be preemptively floating the idea for some reason.

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[–] Darohan@lemmy.zip 123 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Blessica Blimpson picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been

Lives in a dream

[–] LEONHART@slrpnk.net 55 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ahhhhhh....look at all the blonely bleople...

[–] Batman@sopuli.xyz 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Where DO they all blome from?

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
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[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 18 points 2 weeks ago

Sir Oscar Meyer
Wipes the Soylent from his hands as the sandwich was made
NO ONE WAS SAVED

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[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 120 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

She won't get made fun of for sounding like Jessica Simpson...no will care, they'll be too busy making of "Blessica"

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 weeks ago

And Blimpson. God help any of these.kids if they're overweight

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 86 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

thanks to my husband

It's all my husband's fault that I want to curse my child with a shitty name. How they go through life doesn't matter to me. They're my creation, and what I want is all that matters.

What the actual fuck. Just name your kid Paisley if you don't care about their experience after they leave your body. Whether kids know who Jessica Simpson is or not, you're giving your kid a stupid name. They will correctly hate you for it.

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 45 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Paisley Blimpson sounds like a cool name.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 2 weeks ago

Well goddamn, you're right. I'm amazed.

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[–] Ibaudia@lemmy.world 72 points 2 weeks ago (20 children)

I found the OP and their post got deleted, but the only comments she responded to were the supportive ones (maybe 1 or 2 out of dozens of "wtf is wrong with you" reactions).

The poster has a history dating back 2 years so I don't think it's a troll, or if it is it's convincing. I just can't believe anyone would actually want to name their kid fucking Blessica. Absolutely revolting name.

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[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 69 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The kid needs a middle name:

Blessica Blaykelyn Bimpson

[–] Stowaway@midwest.social 26 points 2 weeks ago

For some reason I read this in daffy ducks voice, and it fit perfectly.

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 47 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

No fucking way. This is rage bait. Even if this dogshit name was truly her most cherished wish, there's no chance you willingly take someone's name and then go on and complain about your actions.

Fake.

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[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 45 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That kids getting bullied no matter what

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[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 39 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

That poor child will be bullied so hard. Its not like Jessica Simpson evaporated into fkin smoke. Lost to the ashes of time. The internet exists.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 70 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Jessica Simpson doesn't even need to exist. Blessica is a stupid enough name on its own. Added to the fact that their last name has the word "blimp" in it and that kid is looking at a life of being made fun of.

[–] Holyginz@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly there's no way that kid doesn't get made fun of at least some purely for their last name. Add the first name of blessica and that kid is going to resent the hell out of her parents growing up.

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[–] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 39 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 43 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Blumpkin Blimpson is an amazing name

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[–] kamen@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] ericatty@lemmy.ml 30 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Blisa

Maybe the Simpsons will still be on air...

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] radiohead37@lemmynsfw.com 27 points 2 weeks ago

I don’t think Jessica Simpson is the concern here. A judge would definitely grant the petition for someone to change their name if they were named “Blessica Blimpson”. What a derp name.

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Popular media is the worst place to find a name for your kid. Remember all the parents who named their daughters "Danerys," before she went insane in Season 8 and burned an entire city full of innocent people alive? I wonder how they feel about that choice now. That poor kid is doomed. You might as well give her a stripper name

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[–] mayhair@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 2 weeks ago

Sub name is censored, but I can just tell that's r/namenerds.

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