definitely NOT the asshole.
chat GPT sells all the data it has to advertising companies. She's divulging intimate details of your relationship to thousands upon thousands of different ad companies which also undoubtably gets scooped up by the surveillance state too.
I doubt she's using a VPN to access it, which means your internet provider is collecting that data too and it also means that the AI she's talking to knows exactly where she is and by now it probably know who she is too