The most boring father's day greeting card you can find and a fiver.
Edit: actually, don't spend the money on him, send him an electronic greeting card, equally boring, and donate, in his name, to a charity he'd hate.
this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2024
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Dead fish π
Holiday postcard from a place he doesn't like saying
Wish you were ~~here~~ there
Hell, Michigan lol
"Wish you were here; wish I wasn't."
Any of these passive aggressive comments and in addition something for yourself. Because you deserve it.
"World's Best Dad" mug with the word "Best" crossed out?
My wife suggested "number one sad" with a card explaining that he was, in fact, my first dad lol
A βWorldβs Okayest Dadβ mug.
Alternatively, a certificate for a free vasectomy.
Give him a very basic and cheap toolkit you know he already has. Firstly, he already has those tools and secondly he assumes you doubt his ability due to the cheapness of the tools. Like giving a Michelin chef a dollar store copper knife, they'd assume you think they can't cook.
Something like a 2 pack of a Phillips and flathead screwdriver. So common even non DIY people always have them, and so cheap that they are useless.
Kind of hard to explain but hopefully that gets the pount across.
A "best dad" mug, but you cross out the "best"
I recommend ghosting.
If he asks you about it, re-ghost him (oh I forgot? Anyways...).
I didn't think Father's Day gifts were that much of a standard thing. Most I've ever done is a text and maybe taking him to dinner or golfing.
So a "happy father's day" card if you need to get something
Football merch in his least favorite team.
Hey that would be easy, he hates football!
Buffalo Bills it is!
Socks π―π―
Something nice, that he likes.
Anything else and you are definitely not trying to keep the drama at bay.
A fathers day card from the dollar store. Include a gift card from the same dollar store. Put no money on the gift card.
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The same tie you gave him last year.
Put some bedbugs and fleas in his house.
I was trying to think of a way to trick him into planting bamboo in his yard, but those are good.
Bamboo? Why?
It can be highly invasive and destructive. That said, there are two types, clumpers and runners, runners are bad. Unless you're a Panda.