this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Pay a data broker for Dr. Phil's home address, travel to said location, wait until the witching hour (~2am-4am), whip out a knife, stabby stabby, go home. Because he deserves it

[–] mipadaitu@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago

Stabbing tires is so lame.

Remove the core from the valve stem. Way safer and accomplished the same task.

If it's a nice enough car with fancy wheels, they'll get ruined by sitting on the rims with a completely flat tire.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 11 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Keep in mind slashing tires full of compressed air can be very dangerous

[–] aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Use a key launcher to slash them from a distance

[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is key launcher code for a gun?

[–] aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

No, an apparatus that launches keys (typically generic house keys) usually using air pressure.

(Shooting people’s stuff with guns is illegal, silly)

[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

All my locks are actuated by round keys of about 9mm diameter.

[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That is true.....but it's not nearly as fun to do it safely

[–] ember@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's also not fun to be dead

[–] moody@lemmings.world 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] ember@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago

Because it that case, you wouldn't be able to slash any more tires.

[–] milkytoast@kbin.social 3 points 9 months ago

air them out first

[–] meyotch@slrpnk.net 20 points 9 months ago

The usual way and I’m sure you have your reasons.

[–] Teon@kbin.social 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Phil McGraw is an opportunistic loser. Don't waste your time on this freak. All he does is yell at people on tv, hawk face cream and push his podcast.
I would rather scrub my toilet than think about him. Scrub, scrub, scrub and... FLUSH!!!

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

seriously though, the world is full of all kinds of infuriation that make us take out our anger on household chores.

😈 Dr Phil exists = your toilets are exceptionally clean ✨

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 points 9 months ago

With a knife and because he deserves it.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

The why is easy, he’s got a laundry list of sins against his fellow humans. The how is to start jogging in nondescript clothing in his area. Learn his license plate and hang out in a grocery store parking lot nearby for a week

[–] chooglers@lemmy.ml 6 points 9 months ago

bhad bhabie looking for new material

[–] tjsauce@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

HERE IS A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION DETAILING YOUR TRAUMATIC ENCOUNTER