this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Klear@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] sag@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago

Roblox Player ;) JK

[–] SomeoneElse@lemmy.ca 7 points 11 months ago

Look, I was forced to learn R (very badly) for my PhD (which I didn’t complete). So technically I’m not a nerd (it’s sadder than that). Yay!!

[–] PoolloverNathan@programming.dev 7 points 11 months ago (6 children)

I don't see Haskell on there!

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[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Rust: you are transgender

ASM: you are a nerd

Python: You are a high school student

Java: Your brain is so big you can accomplish anything.

PHP: You could likely do it all in JavaScript

HTML + CSS: You don't know programming but still want to look cool. If you need JavaScript you can ask ChatGPT.

Brainfuck: you like to brag

[–] sag@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Python one is so fucking real as a high school student but I also know JavaScript and bash

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hey, I’m an engineer and a nerd and I prefer R. It not only does statistics, it lets me show them so clearly a business major can understand the implications

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[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] Natanael@slrpnk.net 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

There's a programming language for that

[–] interolivary@beehaw.org 2 points 11 months ago

Yes I suspect that indeed was the joke

[–] UntouchedWagons@lemmy.ca 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What's the one to the right of Java?

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] jcg@halubilo.social 5 points 11 months ago

Not a programming language and nobody's favourite

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[–] zxk@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Chat GPT does all of my coding for me and even scolds people for culture war hot button issues. Life is exactly like the jetsons

[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

in my completely accurate and objective opinion:

  • Javascript: you are a frontend web dev (hopefully)
  • C++: you spent too long learning keywords and classes, you might as well use them
  • Rust: you like big naked men butt booty wrestling
  • Asm: you dont know what a 'type' is
  • Go: you have chosen a perfect language.
  • React: you know its not a framework, so then it must be a language, right?
  • Python: either a child, or an ai expert
  • C: you are a better programmer than everyone else, because you know what a pointer is
  • PHP: rich
  • C#: learning game development just because you like video games
  • Swift: idk really. something to do with apple?
  • R: ????

i use Rust btw

[–] palordrolap@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Perl: You're an old nerd who remembers before Python was a thing, or else a nerd who really likes funky syntax and symbols everywhere and PHP just wasn't right for you.

Raku: You're an old nerd who remembers before Python took over from your former beloved Perl and instead of opting for simpler, cleaner syntax, you decided that being able to go the other way entirely was absolutely for you, or else you're a nerd who likes really, really funky syntax and Python, PHP and even Perl seem too much like kids toys.

Ada: You're an old nerd who was taught it at some college or other or else you're an engineer writing mission critical systems and this is the language everything is written in and no-one will switch to anything else.

BASIC: You're an old nerd (you might be sensing a theme here) who taught themselves programming at some point in the '70s, '80s or '90s and you'll get around to learning another language some day, but right now this interpreter you found online that runs in a console window suits you just fine.

Shell scripting: You're a nerd who really ought to rewrite some of those unwieldy beasts in something else at some point but you've learned it this way and don't have time for anything else right now. Time for another hack.

Powershell: You're a nerd who's found something that "really makes sense, you know?"

COBOL: See Ada but exchange "mission critical" for "banking".

Prolog: You are a nerd who plays Towers of Hanoi in their head for fun.

Haskell: You are a nerd whose flying saucer is a glass dome followed by a function that describes the rest of it, which may or may not be the same function that described the glass dome in the first place.

Lisp: You are a nerd for whom parentheses make you feel warm and fuzzy, if not other feelings that cannot be spoken of in polite company. If you like Emacs, you like Emacs.

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[–] Presi300@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

What your favorite programming language says about you:

JavaScript: Error: "You" is undefined

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Where's the geek? I know at least one of these has to require special training, and a geek is just a highly trained nerd.

[–] charje@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

You R a nerd for the last one.

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