this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023

852 points (97.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26775 readers

2983 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/Explicit

Content

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

LillianVS@lemmy.world

STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world

WiildFiire@lemmy.world

Decoy321@lemmy.world

Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world

YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world

852

Bonjour, je m'appelle Jesus (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

53 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] thecrotch@sh.itjust.works 45 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Can Jesus really shoot rays of emotion out of his belly like a common care bear?

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

From thier harts, man, come on😁

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Nothing hurts more than the "Jesus cares" stare.

[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Care Bears are the truly biblically accurate angels confirmed

[–] thefluffiest@feddit.nl 42 points 10 months ago (3 children)

That’s the Dutch 🇳🇱 flag, not the French 🇫🇷 one

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)

From Jesuis perspective, it's le French.

[–] isthingoneventhis@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

I mean.... it's kinda both when you look at it 👀

[–] TheJims@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Ohhh now it makes perfect sense

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] effward@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Needs more baguette!

Thanks DALL-E

[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

More baguette you say?

[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well that's fucking glorious.

[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Have another, Avengers: Baguette

[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I do have too much fun with this

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 10 months ago

Also he steals her child

[–] LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Damn the Bible really is brutal

[–] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"Mercy! MERCY, please! Ahhhhh!

Mercy, s'il vous plaît... Mer... Merci. Merci beaucoup! hon hon hon hon!"

Luke 2:1-20

[–] chemicalwonka@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

could be worse like making her american

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

Only the fallen one can work such evils.

[–] superbirra@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

JE SUIS JESUS

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Je sus

[–] superbirra@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

american canadian

[–] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Je suce ma bite.

[–] superbirra@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

canadian american

[–] DieguiTux8623@feddit.it 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I received a strong catholic education, the red and blue are symbols for the blood and water that came out from Jesus side when he was pierced by a Roman soldier, John 19:34

Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water.

[–] Senshi@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Wait, why was Jesus full of water? I thought humans are usually filled with blood.

[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

Firemen? That's probably related...

[–] Augustiner@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I banish thy bad breath with the power of Colgate

[–] MightyGalhupo@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Beat me to it

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Depends on your perspective. To me it looks like he's absorbing her soul. Time to feed I guess? Jesus, Harvester of Souls, sounds metal af

[–] OpenStars@kbin.social 5 points 10 months ago

"Midnight Mass" on Netflix, I'm just saying...

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He's sucking the French outta them

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 10 months ago

He can suck the French outta me anytime. I do love long haired foreign twinks

[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHERFUCKER

[–] emergencyfood@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

Jesus turning the girls gay.

[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 6 points 10 months ago

He's giving her a sign to just surrender already.

[–] manucode@infosec.pub 5 points 10 months ago

Looks more Dutch than French to me.

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

When you turn French you just stop caring about sins.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Je suis un ananas.

[–] Elderos@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

NoOn, ceux naille pas pawssible.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Ooh La La!

[–] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

France it the Goat. Have you had boeuf bourguignon with chefs lemon tear-gas from your striking (actually the coolest thing)?

[–] BoastfulDaedra@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

...le whut?

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] kariboka@bolha.forum 3 points 10 months ago

Jesus is holding baby jesus

[–] GreenPlasticSushiGrass@kbin.social 3 points 10 months ago

It's super effective!

[–] berkeleyblue@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ooooohhhh…. That‘s a bit harsh. What could she have done to deserve this

[–] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Being not French maybe?

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Is the baby France?

[–] MasterNerd@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

I mean why do you think she's crying?

load more comments