holy shit accurate
this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
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Have a list of great songs for each category? I know a little, but not a lot.
I can't speak to a lot of these subgenres but power metal? Hehehe.
Dragonforce - Through Fire and Flames. Not just a meme, actually a great song and very technical.
Powerwolf - Blessed & Possessed. Werewolves that work for the Catholic Church? I have no idea how that's supposed to work but I'd read the book.
Sabaton - To Hell and Back. Sabaton writes a lot of songs about historical battles.
Powermetal has rather a lot of narrative ballads in it.
Oh, I've got a good folk metal band too:
Eluveitie - The Call of the Mountain. I love all the different instruments they use.
Alestorm - Drink. How the hell did I forget Alestorm? Who wants pirate metal?
Bloodywood - Dana Dan. Indian folk metal rap/rock ... with a lot of English? I don't know what's going on here but it's such a unique blend.
Someone mentioned Nightwish and here's my favorite song of theirs:
Absolute killer list of bands. Call of the Mountain has to be in my top 5 best songs ever written.
And I've never heard a bad song from Sabaton.
I'll also add Nightwish to the list for symphonic metal. I tend to favor their older stuff, Dark Chest of Wonder would be a great entry point into them.
You left out Pasadena 1994 by Nanowar of Steel
Also my favorites, fiddler on the green and old Nightwish, Stratovarious or Blind Guardian.
I've been also known to enjoy a Sonata Arctica concert or two.
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Dragonforce - Through Fire and Flames
Powerwolf - Blessed & Possessed
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Haha funny you added The call of the mountain there. At some point I had an issue that shittube algorithm put that song constantly in 'play next'. The song is good except the chorus that for some reason annoys the hell out of me
Call of the mountain weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer call of the mountain weeeeeeeeeerreeeeeee call of the mountain
If you like power metal try visigoth (I think their drummer does an amazing job at controlling the dynamics and pace of their songs) and Fellowship (I've never heard any other band come nearly as close at something uplifting and motivating); I really like Glint from fellowship as an example of that! It's the "response" to the "call" from Oak and Ash earlier in the album
Plus, if you're into power metal, you probably also enjoy TTRPG's, and Visigoth designed a whole campaign/setting based around one of their albums with one of my favorite 3rd party content creators (The Revenant King)
That Dragonforce song is amazing!!
Exodus- And then there were none Thrash metal
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On the Doom (or Stoner/Doom) metal genre, I would recommend Electric Wizard or Dopethrone.
Electric Wizard's Supercoven and Funeralopolis. Special mention to "I am nothing", but I don't want to spam their whole discography.
Dopethrone's Chameleon Witch and Vagabond
Those are pretty much the only two bands I know in that genre. Would like to hear more if anyone have suggestions.
As a pretty eclectic listener that ~~doesn't~~ didn't usually listen to much extreme metal, Windhand was my gateway drug to stoner/doom; try Forest Clouds and Grey Garden
I also really enjoy YOB (Adrift in the Ocean), Firebreather (Kiss of your Blade), and Khemmis (Hunted), and Monolord has some really fun, almost hypnotic groovy riffs (Empress Rising)
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Funeral doom all the way imo. Check out Ahab and Bereft.
For black metal - Der Weg Einer Freiheit can’t be beat
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King gizzard and the lizzard wizzards album infest the rats nest got me into thrash metal since I read someone call it thrash, but idk if that's the actual genre.
It's thrash, yeah.
Thing to keep in mind with the though, the band has been dabbling in AI stuff for album art and songwriting, so make of that what you will. Been a fan of theirs since their first 5 album year, but lately my hype has been deadened from the AI stuff.
Nobody talked about death metal so...
- Unleashed - Before the Creation of Time
- Grave - Plain Pine Box
- Monstrosity - Dark Matter Invocation
- Smothered - No One Left to Kill
- Krypts - Open the Crypt
- First Fragment - Pantheum
- Irreversible Mechanism - Footprints in the Sand
- Inanimate Existence - Staring Through Fire
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Can anyone remember a text comparing metal genres to dragon fighting knights trying to rescue a damsel in distress?
Some were hilarious, like the new metal guy arriving at the lair in a beat up Civic.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave… without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, fucks her again, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads its guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princess’s bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year at the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the “HEAVY METAL” protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
GRINDCORE: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves.
INDUSTRIAL METAL: The protagonist arrives wearing a greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards the dragon and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
EMOCORE: The protagonist's mother drives the protagonist and his friends to the castle. He kills the dragon with some awesome arm-spinning and spin-kicking while his friends observe the scene with their arms crossed; then the princess laughs at the protagonists ridiculous hairstyle and the boys leave weeping.
PUNK: The protagonist hitchhikes to the castle, asks the dragon for some bucks, buys some cans of beer, gets pissed, insults the princess as “monarchist cunt” and “commerce bitch” and leaves the castle in a black maria.
PORNO GRIND: The Protagonist arrives at the castle without any clothes on and grunts loudly for a few minutes. Then he fucks the dragon in every body cavity it has, kills the dragon, fucks the carcass the same way again, grunts loudly again for a few minutes, grabs the princess and fucks her in every body cavity she has, kills her and fucks her in the same way again. Then he piles up the dragon’s and princess’s remains, fucks them in every body cavity they have, grunts loudly and screams senselessly for a few minutes. Then he leaves.
POP ROCK: The protagonist arrives in a limo. The dragon lets them in as long as they sign an autograph for its mom who is a big fan. The protagonist leaves with the princess and they get married.
GOTHIC METAL: The protagonist arrives along with a cold wind of winter in the middle of the night, frustrates the heck out of the dragon until it dies of fear and desolation, comes to the princess and discusses how to clean make- ups without inflicting skin irritation.
METALCORE: The protagonist swings his feet and arms about wildly, accidentally knocking the dragon out. Then he storms off in anger that someone messed up his dance routine
This started out cool but seems to devolve into sick fetishism.
Some of the genres I have never even heard of.
You wrote the original and expanded it over the years?
Very nice.
What in the world
I tweaked it a bit:
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and bangs the princess.
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave… without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, robs the princess and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, fucks her again, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon leaves out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princess’s bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year at the conservatory. The princess wishes he was the HEAVY METAL protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but his baggy clothes catch fire. The recording of his screams sell millions of copies.
GRINDCORE: The protagonist arrives, makes weird screeching noises for about 2 minutes and then leaves.
INDUSTRIAL METAL: The protagonist arrives wearing a greasy overcoat, flips off the dragon and gets escorted out by security guards.
EMOCORE: The protagonist and his friends get a ride from his mother to the castle. He kills the dragon with some awesome arm-spinning and spin-kicking while his friends watch with their arms crossed. The princess laughs at the protagonists ridiculous hair and the boys leave in tears, saying she was a bitch anyways so whatever.
PUNK: The protagonist hitchhikes to the castle, asks the dragon for some bucks, buys some cans of beer, gets pissed, calls her a “monarchist cunt” and “commerce bitch” and leaves the castle on the city bus.
POP ROCK: The protagonist arrives in a limo. The dragon lets them in as long as they sign an autograph for its mom who is a big fan. The protagonist leaves with the princess and they get married for a total of 3 days. The protagonist writes 2 albums about her.
GOTHIC METAL: The protagonist arrives along with a cold wind of winter in the middle of the night, frustrates the heck out of the dragon until it dies of fear and desolation, comes to the princess and asks her how to remove makeup without clogging his pores.
METALCORE: The protagonist does some epic headbanging, accidentally knocking the dragon out. Then he storms off in anger because the dragon wasn't supposed to be defeated until the 3rd song
COMEDY METAL: The protagonist happens to be Jack Black, and fucks the dragon while singing about his kielbasa
As a side note, the musical genre suffixes like -core, -wave, -step, -town, -hop, etc. are not consistent. Retrowave will not inform you about Folkwave.
power metal and folk metal are kinda similar demographics-wise in my experience as an alestorm fan
There are also other genre with a lot of overlap. I also do feel like the same people are also dressing differently when going to a mainly power or folk gig for example.
Now that you mention it, Korpiklaani too.
Aye, fuck you with an anchor.
Bark bark bark barky bark
Said the fiddler on the greeeeen
Do people actually listens to grind ?
I don't listen to much pure grindcore but deathgrind is my all time favorite! My heart beats in blast beats lmao. I highly recommend bands like Cattle Decapitation, Dying Fetus, Misery Index, Aborted, etc. if you can handle it.
I met a friend in a chat room that was schizophrenic and loved Anal Cunt
Every once in a while I find myself listening to Agronomicon by Beaten To Death. It’s the only grind album I’ve found that I liked though.
Absolutely. It's pretty easy to digest when the songs are only a minute long.
I listen to Emit, so people definitely listen to anything.
Where does Hevisaurus fit in this?
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I mainly listen to symphonic, (slavic/russian) folk and a pit of power metal...
what would I look like based on this chart?
lmao, don't have that gopnik drip (un-)fortunately
Got recommendation for Slavic metal?
I only listen to music every now and then, can't recall all the good names. But "Merkfolk" is pretty good
polish and they often have strong fem vocals
I find the lack of proghead representation quite disturbing. There are dosens of us!
This is so accurate 😂