this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2023
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Alright, so here's the deal.
I don't like the setup of my house, but it is what it is. My kids room door is at a 90 degree angle to ours. I've always wanted to install and practice an escape since we're on the second floor, but my ex wife had a problem with that (go figure). When I manage to get her out of my house, how do I go about retraining my kid with this? He absolutely refuses to sleep with the door shut, even with one of us in the room, and if he wakes up with it shut, it's bloody murder.
Her logic (that'd I have been overridden on) is that I am literally 4 steps away from his bed in an emergency, and I could leap in, close the door and escape through that window. Mind you I'm ~~207~~ 227(edit, she cheated on me again and I caught her on 06/05, probably caused the weight gain) lbs and deathly afraid of fire.
What I want to do is install one of the fire escape ladders that rolled through the window and practice going down that with my kid before working on getting him to close the door at night.
Is there an order I should do these things? Like door first, then escape? Or escape first, then door?
Did you even click the link provided? It provides some pretty good reasons with examples and a video demonstration of why it's so important. I don't know anything about your ex wife or what your living situation is, but maybe show it to her not as an "I'm right you're wrong" thing but as a genuine safety of your kid thing.
As for your child screaming bloody murder, there comes a time when you need to realize you're the parent and they're the child. For obvious reasons they are not equipped to make decisions regarding their own safety, which is why they're supposed to have you. Sit down with and have a conversation with them Mr. Roger's-style (meaning don't treat them like they're an idiot), maybe try and make a game out of it. If they still scream then honestly too bad, let them cry it out. You don't have debates with your child about if they can stick a fork in an outlet or not do you?
This. He asked for parenting advice and this is good shit.
I don't debate shit when it comes to safety with my kid. To be honest, it isn't even a doubt in my mind that his door should be shut. It's his mother. But I think you (intentionally or not) may have said exactly the way I need to go about this:
It's about his safety. Not her sleep. a few bad nights of sleep is worth it (to me at least).
First step IMHO is to understand what problem your kid is solving by having the door open.