this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
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Same! Pre / post uni friends is the rough line for me. I have one friend from school still, a few from uni but the rest is more recent than that.
Still, I'd argue (re the previous post but my reply fit better here) that even the "nostalgia friends" aren't any different from birth family.
Family just comes with more inherent guilt to uphold the nostalgia lol
I hear that. But my wife and I regularly debate about the role of family. I don't know if it's more American culture to view family as more "disposable", e.g. they can be cut-off if toxic, etc. Being originally an (eastern) European, my mentality is that family (or blood-bonds to be dramatic) are always more serious than friends. To that end, I always thought having a large villa with multiple wings for multi-generational housing would be more appealing. My mother and wife (stereotype much?) don't get along, so maybe a challenging proposition...
The idea of the family is so pernicious when it is used to justify abuse and avoiding responsibility and consequences of bad behavior. Cutting people off when they're consistently being harmful assholes shouldn't be contigent upon blood relation or any other kind of personal or group association and all the people selling "family is forever" or "traditional family values" are doing it because they themselves are the abusive asshole that doesn't want to be cut out
I see people being increasingly willing to cut off abusive family to be a very important change in society to end cycles of abuse