this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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A lot of damage is done by parents telling their kids that they are special and gifted.
I know they mean to be kind. It's just that reality always turns up like the Kool-aid man.
I made the best grades in my year for nearly every year of my schooling from 1st grade up through junior year of high school. My dad would tell me that I was smart and gifted, and he would expect straight A's on my report card. If I ever brought home less than a perfect score I'd be punished for it.
My mom, though, always told me that gap was an illusion. Sure, I was a smart kid, but I wasn't doing anything anyone else couldn't. If I could do it so could they, and vice versa. If I wanted to keep that lead I needed to work for it - but more importantly that taught me not to feel superior to the other kids. I wasn't that special, I just learned new info easily.
I think that was really important for my developing empathy and maybe more smart kids need to hear that.