you are (likely) not trained to handle this situatuon and thus should not engage in this lest you experience real trauma or worsen the other persons situation

so do not kill yourself in the process of trying to be the sole force stopping them

edit: felt the need to add if someone you know is experiencing suicidality, oftentimes the best and safest choice is just to make plans

suicidality is, in the majority of cases, spurred by short-term issues making people feel trapped in their current situation

so plan things with them! plan going out to a concert or restaurant! plan how they can enjoy life in the future!

this is something i feel VERY strongly about because of my own past experiences with feeling the need to "negotiate"

keep in mind im not saying you cant just talk about life with people expressing these ideas, just make sure the conversation doesnt turn into a "negotiation"

ty for reading my long ass comment thats indirectly about my own experiences i love all of you lemmings kthxbye <3

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah. The main way most people can support someone in that situation is by letting them know that you're there for them and helping them get assistance from an external professional. Even trained professionals aren't supposed to work with people they know if possible. Getting them to talk with someone who has distance is important. All you should do is listen without offering advice and making sure they feel cared about.

You're not responsible for them. Unless they are in the middle of an active attempt, all you should do is encourage them to seek help or help them get help. That's the only conceivable time anything resembling negotiations should ever happen, and even then, you want to hand them off to experienced professionals as soon as possible.

Outside of suicidality, it's important to not give advice outside of what's asked for. It's useful to talk in respect to your own experiences and not make universal claims about what works for you personally.

[–] a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Outside of suicidality, it's important to not give advice outside of what's asked for. It's useful to talk in respect to your own experiences and not make universal claims about what works for you personally.

Thanks for this.

There is a german proverb for this: "Ratschläge sind auch Schläge", meaning that advice, even when given with good intention, feels like a punch. Every time someone gave me advice i didn't ask for while depressed felt horrible, like an accusation of laziness and lack of discipline. Don't do this.

[–] DriftinGrifter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

stfu every case of deppresion and suicidality is different and a lot of professionals are incompetent one of my trans friends almost killed herself because her therapist gaslit her that she wasn't trans talking to those people helps

[–] Cattypat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 5 months ago

i said nothing arguing that suicidality is not unique or that professionals are always competent, i argued that trying to negotiate with someone who is suicidal is often traumatic and the average person isnt qualified to perform such negotiations

[–] yetAnotherUser@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 months ago

Pretty helpful insight tho thx

[–] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 5 months ago

What if she says, "I would rather kill myself than speao to a therapist".

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 months ago

A professional is better, but someone close that's helpful is still better than nothing