this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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This tracks.
DeWalt: high quality and good pedigree but overpriced = Slytherin
Milwaukee: basically the same as DeWalt, but less pretentious. Thinks they're better and tougher though = Gryffindor
Makita: the smart choice for value, also best colors = Ravenclaw
Ryobi: I know it will break, but they're just tools and I'm not serious about this anyway. I would rather spend more money on my family or other hobbies = Hufflepuff
Honorable mentions of other "houses" and schools in the thread.
Black and Decker/Craftsman/whatever. Used to be very impressive, but completely corrupted. Probably evil = Durmstrang (Russian school)
Festool: Beautiful, absolutely dripping with wealth signals. Still pretty amazing at what they do, but you might not want them on a job site = Beauxbatons (super wealthy French school)
Harbor freight: Simple, potentially the most powerful but also likely to break. Can probably accomplish what you need by using a wrench as a hammer, but you wouldn't want to do anything delicate with it. Actually the biggest group of dad-wizards = Uagadou (the school in Uganda where magic was invented but they don't use wands)
FYI Durmstrang is from Hungary.
So Russia-lite
Ah, thanks. I haven't read those books for years and years.