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I can answer this: my son was born in 1990. We were extremely poor.
We had midwives help us out as best they could, to the tune of about $3200 at the time. The birth got complicated due to a variety of health factors, and both my son and wife almost died (not because of the midwives). Luckily the midwives had a direct line to Georgetown Hospital, and the cesarean was done there. The total hospital bill was $58,000, or $138k in today's money, although hospital costs have rose much higher vs inflation, so maybe it would be in the $200k range now. She was in the ICU for a week, hospital for another week, our son for about 3 weeks.
My wife job didn't have health insurance, because it wasn't required back then. Because she was gone a week, her job fired her for an unexcused absence. Oddly enough, this made her unemployed and Washington DC had some law (or rule or something) that immediately dropped the hospital bills because of her unemployment. In the end, we had to pay $15k to about two dozen practices who individually sued us, which took 7 years to pay off and a lot of court visits and wage garnishments. It financially ruined us, pretty much. Both suffered a lot afterwards because we just couldn't afford minimal care. It was hellish. I can't imagine how much worse it would be today. We got evicted from our apartment, and lived in government housing for six years.
So, yeah. Don't have a baby in America unless you can guarantee it will be healthy and you have a lot of money. Most of my friends don't have kids, they simply can't afford it and look at it like the previous generation looked at concepts like summer homes and yachts. Nice luxuries, but way out of affordabilty.
I'm sorry you and your family had to go through that.
I'm Canadian and I gladly pay more taxes than you so that I and my friends get free healthcare when we need it.
When we watched the fights over "Obamacare" we just shook our heads.
That's the ridiculous thing. Americans would rather pay a few dollars less in taxes than let people have free healthcare. And it ends up costing them far more than they would have paid in taxes.
Here's the thing. I worked in America for the better part of a decade and I had to submit two tax forms, one to each country. You end up paying the greater of the two and using it to offset the other.
What I know is this: every year, every year, I paid an extra 1% to America. No matter how my (binational) tax guys worked it, my obligation to America was always higher.
The year after I came home I still had to submit taxes (January layoff scares so I moved back) and it was still higher for America despite sitting in a different country (it's a factor) and using different services. It didn't matter.
In Canada I pay 1% lower income tax and enjoy healthcare access. While they've done away with the regional premiums, I was even okay paying that; as my yearly outlay, proudly at the top bracket, was still less than copays while in America. I would gladly pay the same premium to ensure equal access to dental and optical care for me and especially people who can't drop (now) c$1000 on some specs or way more on a dental crown.
It's not that I'm a good guy, but I pay taxes for schools because I don't want to live around dumb people. I do and will pay taxes so we can take people who aren't healthy and skilled and contributing income tax and make them so they are. Poverty should be no excuse for not being employable.